Janet: Good news! We've got a handle on the controls. Who's ready to go balloonin'?
Michael: Okay, I think we figured it out. [screen beeps] I pieced together this design from a number of ancient manuscripts, which Janet will now interpret for you.
Janet: The balloon will only transport those who have attained self-realization. Each traveler will step upon the scale, and her soul shall be weighed. If she's the best version of herself, it will permit her to board. If not, passage will be denied.
Eleanor: Cool. Cool. Cool. We got this. I don't know about you guys, but I am definitely the best version of myself. I know a shirt-ton about ethics now, 'cause I studied. And I read books that weren't even written by the Real Housewives. Relax, everyone. We're all gonna be fine. [scale chimes] Oh! Oh, man. I didn't believe anything I was saying. I just... whoo! In I go.