Rose Quote #759
Blanche: Rose! Honey, it's three in the morning! Why are you staring at those light bulbs?
Rose: I'm running a consumer test for work. I have to see which one of these lasts longer.
Blanche: Rose, you ninny, don't you know staring at light bulbs for hours is bad for your eyes?
Rose: Hey, instead of worrying about my eyes, I'd be more concerned with those purple spots all over your face. Oh, I'm sorry, Blanche. I'm frazzled. Not only is this due tomorrow, but I have to make sure this watch really is waterproof.
Blanche: Honey, why don't you take the watch off your wrist?
Rose: Come on, Blanche! Then I'd have my hand in a bucket of water for nothing.
Quote from Rose
Rose: The hardest part for me was explaining to my Kirsten the difference between boys and girls. I knew the time had come, but I kept putting it off. Finally, I decided it was time to take the bull by the horns.
Blanche: So you told her?
Rose: No, I took the bull by the horns, turned him around and showed her what makes a bull a bull.
Dorothy: You are kidding, Rose?
Rose: No! That's how my mother taught me.
Blanche: Honey, didn't that give you a false impression about what a man would look like?
Rose: It sure did. Can you imagine my surprise on my wedding night with Charlie? [laughing] Boy, that bull would have been jealous.
Quote from Blanche
Dorothy: For the past week all he's been doing is hanging out at the beach and having a good time. Maybe this job at the Hacienda Hut will get him on the right track again.
Blanche: Dorothy, you don't want Michael working in a place like the Hacienda Hut. It is full of people just looking for easy sex and cheap thrills. But if it'll help, I could write a letter of recommendation.
Quote from Dorothy's New Friend
Rose: I remember when I was a little girl back in St. Olaf. There was this old lady who lived up the street. She never smiled. I mean, she always looked angry. The kids said she'd kill anyone who even stepped on her property. We called her Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper.
Blanche: Yeah, kids can be pretty cruel.
Rose: No. That was her name. Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper. She had it changed legally 'cause everybody called her that anyway.
Blanche: Then how come your name isn't Big Dummy?
Rose: Well, there were already three other people in town with that name. But that's beside the point. One day I got up the courage to go up to Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper and ask her why she always frowned. Well, she had been born with no smiling muscles. I pointed out that a frown is just a smile turned upside down. So from then on, whenever I'd go by, she'd stand on her head and wave.
Quote from Henny Penny - Straight, No Chaser
Blanche: This is horrible. As Big Daddy used to say, "I'm feeling lower than the rent on a burnin' building."
Rose: That's funny. I used to live in a burning building. And it was cheap. It was Charlie's and my first house. Well, scoff if you must, but it was warm and toasty. I'll never forget Charlie throwing me over his shoulder and dashing across the threshold. Oh, it was a beautiful place. Three bedrooms, two baths. Then two bedrooms and one bath. Eventually, we outgrew the place.