Blanche: OK, Rose, here they are. Here are the bonds. Dorothy, I want to thank you for helping me buy $25,000 worth of peace of mind.
Rose: Oh, Blanche, thank you. I just got off the phone with the city fathers of St. Olaf, and it's been unanimously decided they are going to build a statue to Blanche Devereaux right in the middle of Mrs. Olsen Square.
Blanche: A statue. Oh, my. Is it going to be a big one?
Rose: Hey! St. Olaf license plates don't say "Big Statue Country" for nothing.
Blanche: Ooh! Well, all right, that does it. You're all my witnesses. [tears up the bonds]
Rose: Oh, speech! Speech!
Dorothy: Wait, wait. Wait. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If St. Olaf is flat broke, how are they going to pay for this statue?
Rose: Every penny comes out of the $500,000 Emergency Statue Fund.
Blanche: $500,000?
Rose: Oh, but you can't touch that fund unless it's a real statue emergency.

Dorothy: Stanley, if you're here to beg me again to go to that reception, forget it.
Stan: Hey, Stanley Zbornak does not beg, OK? I'm a man. I have my self-respect, my dignity.
Dorothy: Then why are you here?
Stan: I need you to tie my tie.

Stan: Well, wish me luck.
Dorothy: Uh, Stanley, why don't you come back here in about an hour?
Stan: Why?
Dorothy: It'll take me a while to get ready.
Stan: Oh, thank you, Dorothy.
Dorothy: Besides, I'll need someone to fasten my pearls.
Stan: Aw, babe. The ones I gave you?
Dorothy: No, sweetheart. The real ones.

Rose: Explain it to me again, Blanche.
Blanche: Rose, look, if there's $500,000 in the statue fund, why can't they just take $50,000 of it to save the town.
Rose: Because that's the statue money.
Blanche: Well, there won't be anywhere to put the statue if there's no town left.
Rose: Wow. A loophole!

Stan: Ah, it was great. Those Japanese sure know how to have fun. What was that crazy dance called again?
Dorothy: They were bowing, Stanley.

Blanche: Rose, do you think we can go call St. Olaf now, and you can explain it to them the way I explained it to you?
Rose: Well, we could try. We might not be able to get a hold of anybody. It's "Everybody Hide the Corn" day.

Dorothy: It was a perfect reception. For once, everything was perfect.
Stan: It was you, babe. You charmed them.
Dorothy: You were pretty impressive yourself. You gave them a respectable soft sell and you made a deal that's gonna profit both sides. You've come a long way, Zbornee.
Stan: Thanks, babe. Well, I- I better be going.
Dorothy: It was a good evening.
Stan: Zbornak and Zbornak. What a team. Maybe we can do it again sometime.
Dorothy: Maybe.
Stan: Thanks, babe. Dorothy. [Stan kisses Dorothy]
Sophia: Dorothy, you're gonna send me to an early grave.
Dorothy: Too late, Ma. Good night.

Stan: Remember our wedding day? I made you do this even though you thought it'd be bad luck for me to see you before the ceremony.
Dorothy: What a silly superstition.
Stan: You know, Dorothy, all those years of marriage, through all the struggles, the one thing I wanted was to be a success. Suddenly I have all the success I want, and it scares me. I keep waiting for a knock at the door. "Hi, it's me, failure." And I'm scared to face it alone. What I'm trying to say is, I need your help Dorothy, like I did when we were together. So, what do you think?
Dorothy: I hate to admit it, but you look good.