Bill Lewis: Mur, you've barely touched your third helping of tater bombs. What's wrong?
Murray: If you had something going on, you'd tell me about it, right?
Bill Lewis: Depends. Is there anybody else in the world?
Murray: I'm being serious.
Bill Lewis: Mur, I love you like a tick loves a hound, but a listener you are not.
Murray: There are things you haven't told me?
Bill Lewis: So many.
Murray: Like what?
Bill Lewis: I hold two boomerang world records. I was an Admiral in the Coast Guard. Last year, I found a third nipple on my shoulder. I love birds. They can fly! That's God's best magic trick.

Beverly: Every Goldberg child must learn to fend for himself.
Barry: The world's job is to bend and often break to my will.
Erica: You have to take what's yours, and also what's not.
Beverly: It's time to teach my coddled baby not to be a pushover.
Pops: Or we could all just leave the gentle, kind-hearted child alone.
Beverly: No! Here are some phrases you'll need. "I'd like to speak to your manager," "The sign says 'closed', but the light is on," and, "You can't prove this wasn't on the sale rack."
Adam: Those seem pretty horrible.
Beverly: Now you're getting it!
Barry: And don't be afraid to use the environment around you. Stomp, toss stuff, knock things over.
Erica: I like to swing my emotions around. One moment, I'm gently pleading. The next, I'm on the ground crying and kicking security.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, I loved The Greatest American Hero, in which an encounter with aliens causes school teacher Ralph Hinkley to reluctantly lead a double life.
Adam: What a perfectly realized premise! Of all the people to get superpowers, a mild-mannered guy!
Pops: Maybe his ordinariness is his superpower.
Adam: Either way, these are definitely questions the show wants us to be asking.