Barry Quote #1042
Barry: Sorry I'm late, everyone! I'm Geoff Schwartz, and I bring the tardy to the party.
Professor Isaacson: You must be lost, sir.
Barry: I'm exactly where I need to be. I'm a nerd. Nerds like to learn. I'm Geoff Schwartz.
Geoff: What are you doing?
Barry: Being a terrible friend. Because I'm Geoff Schwartz.
Professor Isaacson: You keep saying your name like that's an explanation for the interruption. Either sit or leave.
Barry: On it, Professor Mustache. Okay. Geoff Schwartz. My dad's a dentist. That's why I have so many teeth.
Geoff: Pretty sure your dad's an eye doctor.
Barry: I know me. I cry at Palmolive ads.
Geoff: You did once, and it was because the bunny got lost, but then the boy found him and cleaned him in the sink.
Barry: I go boom in my trousers. I'm Geoff Schwartz.
Geoff: Oh, God. Why?
Barry: Boom means poop. [chuckles] I'm Geoff Schwartz.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘Body Swap’ Quotes
Quote from Beverly
Adam: You broke your husband.
Beverly: And Mama's comin' for you next!
Adam: Please! I need this!
Beverly: No. Marjorie Shenkman's lawn guy's nephew went out for off-campus lunch one time, flipped his Saab, and skimmed the top of his head off. Now when he goes to cocktail parties, people try to put their drinks on his head, like he's an end table.
Adam: There is no flat-skulled man with a whiskey sour on his dome!
Beverly: He had to get a job as Frankenstein at that theme restaurant where they salute old horror movies. More drinks on the noggin.
Adam: Just let me drive.
Beverly: He tried to cover it with a toupee, but it didn't sit right. It looked like an area rug sitting on top of a Rubik's Cube.
Adam: You're exhausting!
Beverly: W... I'm just trying to keep my perfectly round-headed schmoopie safe!
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: You can't say stuff like that to me.
Adam: But I mean it. Why would I want to be anywhere near your craziness?
Beverly: Because you have to. I am your mom. I love you more than myself.
Adam: Come on! Enough!
Beverly: [sighs] Someday, when you're a parent, you're gonna see how hard it is to worry about your kids every moment of every day.
Adam: You don't worry about Barry and Erica like this anymore.
Beverly: Of course I do. It never stops. I feel like there's a little piece of my heart floating around out there, and I may never get it back. Adam, you need to understand that I will never change when it comes to protecting my kids.
Adam: And you need to know you're not protecting me. You're just keeping me from experiencing life.
Beverly: [sighs] I suppose I could... Loosen the reins a little bit.
Quote from Matt
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, one of the most popular movie genres was body swapping. Yep, nothing was more hilarious than seeing someone wake up in another person's shoes, which made picking what to watch impossible.
Andy: Ooh! Grab 18 Again. It's George Burns, but he's 18 again. He's got the wisdom of a lifetime in the body of a whippersnapper.
Naked Rob: How about Freaky Friday? A mom and her teenage daughter swap bodies. As if the mother-daughter relationship isn't fraught enough already.
Matt: All of Me. Steve Martin gets Lily Tomlin's soul crammed in his head, and, boy, does she have opinions.