Murray Quote #524

Quote from Murray in Parents Just Don't Understand

Adam: Look, are you the perfect father? Not even close. You're way too loud. You're constantly aggravated.
Barry: You're super gassy.
Adam: You once fell asleep during a parent-teacher conference.
Barry: You once fell asleep at Thanksgiving dinner.
Adam: You fell asleep at a stoplight many times.
Barry: You've got a real problem with sleep, man.
Murray: Are you done with your apology?
Adam: No. You may be all those things, but you're also the most dependable dad any kid could ask for.
Barry: We know, at the end of every day, you're gonna be there in that chair, without pants on, making sure we have food and clothes and whatever stupid thing we want.
Adam: We know you're always gonna protect us from the world, from ourselves, from anything bad.
Barry: And no, you're not perfect, but you're our dad.
Adam: And we love you.
Murray: Let's just forget about this and move on.

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 ‘Parents Just Don't Understand’ Quotes

Quote from Murray

Murray: What kind of college has hard candies lying around?
Beverly: You don't know! There could be a lobby with a dish.
Murray: Are you watching that S.O.B. Phil Donahue again?
Beverly: He did an expose on choking hazards, Murray. Did you know that hard candy kills more people than smoking?
Murray: That gray-haired bastard. All he does is make you worry.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Here, try Bevy's secret hangover recipe.
Other Erica: Why does it smell like fish?
Beverly: That's the shrimp. It's the aspirin of the sea. Drink up.

Quote from Murray

Murray: You guys think I'm a bad dad?
Barry: Not you specifically. The song's called "Dads Just Don't Care", all dads.
Murray: You say my first and last name. You're literally shoving me into the garbage.
Barry: True, true. We did do that.
Adam: Come on, it's just a goof. We bust balls, we have fun. You get it.
Murray: Ha. I get it. And you know what? Go [bleep] yourself.
All: Whoa!
Murray: You guys think I nap because I'm lazy? No. I nap because I work my [bleep] fingers to the bone so you little [bleep] can have your dumb [bleep] tennis shoes and your expensive [bleep] cameras.
Andy: Uh I feel like we should go.
Murray: No, you little [bleep] need to hear this.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] That day, my dad did the one thing every parent wishes they could do. He called his kids out for being spoiled and ungrateful, pulling no punches and speaking from the heart. For my dad, it was a taste of glory.
Murray: And if you remember one thing from this conversation, let it be this Hee-haw-hmm!