Bill Lewis Quote #3
Bill Lewis: Ohh, my back!
Murray: Don't worry, pal. I gotcha.
Bill Lewis: No, no, Bruce Lee style. Hyah! Hyah!
Bill Lewis: Beverly, I'm gonna need a warm towel. Oh, it's traveling! It's moving south! Aah!
Beverly: Good luck, Schmoops.
Bill Lewis: Get the small boy. Have the small boy stand on me.
Quote from Adam
Adam: I see it now. We open on a time portal as Mr. Lewis' cold, naked body spills to the Earth. He rises from the smoke like a Love Terminator.
Erica: Yeah, no nudity or time travel. Just make Mr. Lewis look cool. You know, macho.
Adam: We're making a picture! An Adam F. Goldberg joint.
Erica: What's with the "F"?
Adam: There's another Adam Goldberg at school. He's super-sensitive. I don't want to cause any marketplace confusion.
Erica: Don't worry about it. No one cares about either of you.
Quote from Beverly
Lainey: Dad, it's been four years since Mom left. Isn't it time you got set up with someone?
Beverly: Set up? Did somebody say "set up"? Who am I setting up?
Erica: No, stop. We don't need your help. Bill's gonna do video dating.
Beverly: Video dating? [chuckles] [robotic voice] Beep, boop, bop, zorp. Beep, boop, bop. I will find you love.
Erica: Sorry, but, uh, your way of matchmaking is a thing of the past.
Beverly: [normal voice] Please. I am literally responsible for setting up over 200 couples, which means I'm personally responsible for over 62,000 babies.
Erica: Yeah, that's not real math.
Quote from Bever-lé
Barry: Dad, hurry, it's almost kickoff! [sighs] Maybe I should have tried out.
Bill Lewis: Probably for the best. I've had a headache for 36 years.
Vic: Oh, [scoffs] that's nothin'. I can turn this foot all the way around like an owl's head.
Bill Lewis: I got hit so hard on a crossing route, I was legally dead for 3 minutes.
Vic: Try 5. I saw my granny on a cloud. She told me to rub some dirt on it and then go block somebody.
Bill Lewis: I took a helmet to the stomach so hard, I no longer have a belly button.
Vic: I don't have any toes.
Bill Lewis: This isn't baldness. I got the hair tackled right off of my head. [Vic gasps]
Barry: Why do they let anyone play this game?
Bill Lewis: 'Cause it's the best.
Vic: So many good memories. I love it.
Quote from Bachelor Party
Adult Adam: [v.o.] In that moment, my dad would ask a question that would change the course of history.
Murray: What's that?
John Calabasas: That, my friend, is the Bitter. It's Austrian. So very rare.
Murray: Kind of looks like a Ferrari. I really loved those as a kid.
Beverly: Come on, Murray. For once in your life, just treat yourself.
Bill Lewis: And what a treat! Hey, Mur! Individual seat heaters! You know what they call that? "The marriage saver." Maybe if I had these bun toasters, I'd still be married. [laughs] Who am I kidding? We had separate bedrooms, only said hi in the hallway. But come on! Ah, [bleep] it]