Pops Quote #367
Pops: Bevy, who was that?
Pops: How the hell did she get this number?
Quote from Beverly
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, America got in shape, and that meant getting fit and eating right. So every chef started becoming health-conscious, except Chef Beverly Goldberg.
Beverly: For my growing schmoopaloo, my famous lasagna burger bomb.
Adam: Wow! I can't believe no one's ever thought to use lasagna as a bun before.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] She was always inventing new caloric cuisine.
Beverly: For Pops, my triple-meat ziti surprise.
Pops: And the surprise is, the lamb really brings out the beef and chicken.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] But that was nothing compared to what she made my dad.
Beverly: And for my handsome man of the house, salad made just the way you like it... A deli tray of cold cuts and cheeses, zero veggies, served in a bowl of buttermilk ranch.
Murray: You see? Salads don't have to be boring.
Adam: That is, by definition, not a salad. Words have meaning!
Quote from Erica
Erica: Cheggit. My mom sent me one of her famous honey salt pies.
Geoff: Ooh, smells delish. Let me rip into a slice.
Erica: It's funny that you say "rip," because this recipe actually comes from my great-great-uncle Harold. Every limb of his body was ripped off by an amateur circus bear.
Geoff: Oh, my God, what?
Erica: Yeah, but don't worry. The bear didn't kill him. He just left him as a stump and a head.
Geoff: And that's good?
Erica: Well, not for what comes next. He was on top of a hill, and lost control of his crude homemade body wagon, and he was thrown 100 feet into a nearby river, and bobbed for six miles. Luckily, another bear came and finished him off.
Geoff: Two bears? That's the most horrible thing I've ever heard!
Erica: Yeah, it's not great. But bears like honey, so grab yourself a fork.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: Schmoo, feast your delicious boy eyes on 400 pages of scrumptious family history.
Adam: Wow, this has... So many words. Most not about food. And who is that sturdy fella?
Beverly: That's your great-aunt Esther.
Adam: Why two eye patches?
Beverly: This is a funny story. Uh, she was dragged by a horse through the town.
Adam: That is funny.
Beverly: [laughing] Until the reins finally got stuck in a tree branch, and the horse fell on top of her. [chuckles] So, of course, they shot it.
Adam: And why would you put that in a book about food?
Beverly: Because the next day, she made a delicious horse stew. I changed it to lamb because some people can be stuffy.
Adam: And she must've had to make a lot since she had 14 kids.
Beverly: No, no. As I indicated here next to the ingredients, uh, only six of them lived. [Adam exhales sharply] Disease, war, winter, famine. Seven of them were just stomped to death.