Barry Quote #914
Sheriff: Is there one man brave enough to stop these banditos with this here lasso?
Barry: I am that one man, Fake Sheriff.
Sheriff: You know your way around a rope, son?
Barry: Of course I know ropes. I've played tug-of-war and the board game Clue... But we lost that piece, so we use an old checker.
Sheriff: Now just swing this thing in a slow circular pattern.
Barry: Yah! Yah! Yah! Yah! Yah! [glass shatters] Is that one of those cheap plate-glass windows that cowboys are always crashing through?
Sheriff: It is not.
Quote from Pops
Adam: Who cares! I can't believe we're flying to California!
Beverly: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! That won't give me enough time squished together with my squishies. [chuckles] We're driving!
Adam: To the airport and then we're flying?
Erica: When will I learn not to hug until I hear all of the details?
Beverly: It'll be just like the Griswolds. We're gonna see America!
Pops: This America? I've seen it. It's all corn.
Quote from Adam
Beverly: So we're gonna take one last unforgettable family vacation before everybody starts the next big chapter in their lives! What do you say?
Pops: We love you, but pass.
Beverly: You're gonna pass on a trip to Disneyland?
Adam: Oh, balls!
Erica: I love you now!
Beverly: Ah, that's right! Embrace your mama!
Adam: Star Wars just opened a ride there! It's called "Star Tours"! You get to travel to the forest moon of Endor!
Beverly: Well, I "Endor" you. Boop!
Adam: Even you can't ruin this. Star Wars teaming up with Disney is just so big! Sure, I wish they'd dedicate a whole land to Star Wars, but that's just a little boy's dream!
Quote from Barry
Barry: I'm not going to Disneyland! I'm a grown adult man who will be starting a fully accredited university in a week.
Pops: But you love that Snow White. You've had a crush on her since you could talk. Which was late for your age. But still.
Barry: Sure, Ms. White has pretty hair and she's patient with those dwarves in a way you know you'd just vibe with her, but not at all!
Quote from The Opportunity of a Lifetime
Beverly: I just I wanted to tell Barry, uh, [quietly] don't pitch.
Barry: Did you just call me a "dumb bitch"?
Beverly: No, I said "don't pitch."
Barry: What? That's even worse!
Quote from Cowboy Country
Barry: If I hear you say no again, I'm hulking out. We're talking screaming and swearing. I'm gonna smash this decorative box.
Murray: Do not hulk out. Do not smash that decorative box.
Barry: Say goodbye to the decorative box.
Murray: Your mom keeps her knick-knacks in there.
Barry: I'll destroy her knick-knacks too! Hulk doesn't respect knick-knacks..
Quote from Why're You Hitting Yourself?
Barry: My perfect girl? Well, she should have big blue eyes, and big blonde hair.
Beverly: Mmm, she sounds fun.
Barry: She shouldn't be afraid to speak her mind, you know? I mean, she should have a sensitive side, but still be a hard-ass.
Beverly: Oh, sit up straight, honey.
Barry: And I want her to take care of me. Cook, pick up my stuff, make me hot pockets.
Barry: By the way, thank you for the hot pocket.
Beverly: All right, and I'm on the case for my sweet, handsome, delicious boy.
Erica: You know you just described mom.
Barry: What!? I did n- Oh, my God! Mom! I meant a brunette who doesn't cook at all. And she's gotta be super shy and not related to me at all.