Erica Quote #1500
Beverly: Well, what do I do now? I already rejected him when we were on the yearbook committee.
Erica: Oh, don't worry. Men are just lifeless lumps of clay begging to be manipulated. Watch and learn.
Geoff: Hey, hon, it's your turn on diaper duty. And, sorry, it's atomic.
Erica: There's the guy I picked. I just wanted to take a second before I change the diaper to compliment you.
Geoff: Okay, take two seconds. This fella isn't above receiving a word bouquet.
Erica: Your thighs are looking so attractive.
Geoff: What? You can see them through my relaxed-fit corduroys?
Erica: Oh, big time! Have you been hitting that machine that nobody uses at the gym?
Geoff: It's always the least sweaty, so, yeah.
Erica: Well, hubba-hubba. [chuckles] I just wish that I had the time to get some reps in myself. I must look so gross to you.
Geoff: Impossible. You are a vision.
Erica: Well, maybe I'll just let myself go, be one of the big ladies in the "Guinness Book." You know, they're smiling in the picture, so maybe they're happy.
Geoff: Okay, you know what? I have an idea. Why don't I just worry about Muriel and you take all the time you need to feel your best?
Erica: My gracious! What a crazy idea you totally came up with. All right, now hustle off, 'cause the stink is hitting my nose hairs. [Geoff walks off with Muriel] Dumb and done. Good luck with your crush.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘The Crush’ Quotes
Quote from Geoff
Geoff: There is a way, you know.
Erica: What are you talking about?
Geoff: You think you're the only one who knows how to play the game of flirtation and romance?
Beverly: I'm listening. Tell me how to beat the system, wise Geoff.
Erica: No, no, no. Don't fill her head with sunshine. Now put the baby down.
Geoff: No.
Erica: "No"? What is this "No"? I'm not familiar with it.
Geoff: You complimented my thighs, and you didn't even mean it. My thighs are amazing. They taper and bulge in all the right places.
Quote from Geoff
Erica: You know about my flirtation game?
Geoff: Oh, I know all your moves. But you don't know mine. There's only one thing that gets someone's attention. Jealousy.
Erica: [scoffs] When has that ever worked for you?
Geoff: Oh, sweet, foolish, naive Erica. You didn't pay me the time of day until you saw a little candy on my arm.
Erica: Wait, Evy Silver?
Geoff: I used Silver to get the gold. Goldberg, that is.
Erica: You... played me? Mom, this can't be who you listen to.
Beverly: You know, making him jealous instead of doing nothing seems to be the better choice.
Geoff: Yes! Now watch my sweet thighs disappear as I walk away in victory. [walks off]
Erica: His thighs are pretty amazing.
Quote from Erica
Erica: Where have you been, young lady?
Beverly: Oh, Erica. [chuckles] Did you wait up for me?
Erica: How was I supposed to sleep, knowing that you were out running around in the streets with God knows who, doing God knows what?
Beverly: I just went out with Joe to get ice cream after the dance. No biggie.
Erica: Oh, "no biggie"? It's a very big biggie! Do they not have phones at this ice cream establishment?
Beverly: Okay, I didn't think...
Erica: That's right, you didn't think. Now go to your room while my brothers and I decide what to do with you.
Beverly: Sorry. I'll do better next time.
Erica: Yes, you will, or there won't be a next time.
Beverly: Is that it?
Erica: Well, you're lucky that it is. Now, tell me everything about Joe.