Beverly: Relax. The only healer you need is Dr. Bev.
Erica: Mom, go back to making an impossibly heavy lunch.
Beverly: My 12-bean chili can wait.
Geoff: 12? Isn't that just all the beans?
Erica: [sighs] Don't engage her. Mom, we got this.
Beverly: Do you? What if she has diaper rash, or cradle cap, or cooties, or Pac-Man fever?
Geoff: I'm pretty sure some of those are made up and one is a song?

Beverly: What is going on in here?
Barry: I need to move out. Ideally, to a modern penthouse with a 360-degree view and a live-in butler. But I'll take a slightly lower level and a sassy maid.
Beverly: You could stay here and I'll be your sassy maid.
Barry: Fun stuff. Now get on the horn with the Realtor and see what's available near the mayor's mansion.
Beverly: So, I'm paying for you to leave me?
Barry: I'm a medical student.
Beverly: Well, you're also an adult. So figure it out on your own.
Barry: Yesterday you brushed out my hair as I was watching Scooby-Doo!
Beverly: You're my little Shaggy, and you're not going anywhere. Mwah!

Erica: Man, this girl is cranky.
Geoff: What's your deal, baby? I know you don't have words, but tell me!
Erica: Oh, that's my rock. Always cool under pressure. [Muriel crying]
Geoff: Sorry, it's just really frustrating not being able to calm her. Let's just call the pediatrician, or that Army doctor that watches the president.