Barry: Dad, hurry, it's almost kickoff! [sighs] Maybe I should have tried out.
Bill Lewis: Probably for the best. I've had a headache for 36 years.
Vic: Oh, [scoffs] that's nothin'. I can turn this foot all the way around like an owl's head.
Bill Lewis: I got hit so hard on a crossing route, I was legally dead for 3 minutes.
Vic: Try 5. I saw my granny on a cloud. She told me to rub some dirt on it and then go block somebody.
Bill Lewis: I took a helmet to the stomach so hard, I no longer have a belly button.
Vic: I don't have any toes.
Bill Lewis: This isn't baldness. I got the hair tackled right off of my head. [Vic gasps]
Barry: Why do they let anyone play this game?
Bill Lewis: 'Cause it's the best.
Vic: So many good memories. I love it.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Barry was preparing for his big NFL tryout, and every moment was an opportunity to train.
Pops: Hey, Bar, toss me a plum.
Murray: No, no, no, no, no. Snap it to him.
Barry: You know it, Coach Dad. Plum comin' in! Boom!
Pops: [catches fruit] That's a papaya.
Barry: Professional hike!
Pops: Apple.
Barry: Yi! [glass breaks]
Pops: Pear!
Barry: Yi! [clatter]
Pops: Tangelo! You know what might be a nice lesson, Coach Dad? The difference between a banana and a plum.

Barry: So, what do you want to talk about?
Murray: I don't know. I... Anything, everything. What are you interested in?
Barry: [sighs] Nunchucks, the vocal stylings of Big Daddy Kane. [chuckles] I melted a Nerf Ball with a blowtorch.
Murray: We'll find something.