Carlton: I can't believe Mom picked us to do that special assignment.
Will: Word. Man, Coach Smiley never would have did that. He used to say, "Extra work for you means extra work for me."

Hilary: Anyway, I've been trying to prepare for this interview but every time I think about it, I get really, really nervous. I mean, like, what do they ask you at these things?
Geoffrey: Miss Hilary, it's nothing to be nervous about. Just a few simple questions. For example, what is your name?
Hilary: Hilary S. Banks.
Geoffrey: Education?
Hilary: Two years of college.
Geoffrey: And what are your qualifications to work in an art gallery?
Hilary: Well, I'm like... An art gallery, to me, is like... Well, you know, it's like... Okay, okay. When I walk into an art gallery, it's like... Um, I mean, okay, if I had to choose, all right... It's like, I mean... [walks off] Leave me alone!
Geoffrey: You're hired.

Philip: Will, I saw this coming. You thought you were going to get a free ride in that class, didn't you?
Will: No, I didn't.
Carlton: I sure did.
Philip: Well, I don't have any sympathy for either one of you. Just because she's good at teaching the class and making you do some hard work, you can't take it.
Will: Look, that's not it. Look, Uncle Phil, for her own good, you have to warn her if she keeps being so tough, the whole class is gonna revolt. I can see it in the kids' faces. They're on the edge.
[Aunt Vivian enters with a group of her students]
Viv & Students: [all sing] Hush hush Somebody's calling my name My Jesus Hush hush Oh Lordie Somebody's calling my name Hallelujah Hush

Kellogg: Umoja.
Will: What?
Kellogg: Umoja. It's Swahili for "unity." Dope, huh? I got the whole Berlitz course on cassette for my oral report today.
Chadney: Hey, Lieberman, did you take my Jet magazine?
Kellogg: No, I've got my own subscription.

Kellogg: Professor Banks, before we make our presentations we have something to say to you. A bunch of us were at Chadney's house making our extra-credit dioramas and we started talking. We agreed it's a shame you're going to leave at the end of the month.
Carlton: Oh, yeah, terrible.
Will: That's a wack situation.
Carlton: A shame.
Kellogg: So, anyway, we came up with this. It's a petition for you to become our permanent history teacher.
Carlton: [to Will] Shoot me.
Vivian: Guys. I'm overwhelmed. This is very flattering.
Chadney: According to the rulebook, we need 150 signatures. So far we've collected 148.
Kellogg: We thought it would be fun if the two signatures to put it over were Will and Carlton. Guys, do the honors. [they applaud]
Carlton: After you, Will.
Will: No, you go ahead first.
Carlton: I insist.
Will: She's your mom.
Carlton: This class was your idea.

Carlton: Mom.
Vivian: Yes.
Carlton: This whole ugly episode... it's not going to affect my grade, will it?
Vivian: I'm a very tough grader, Carlton.
Carlton: And you're very beautiful, Mommy.