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‘Lucky Charm’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Lucky Charm

116. Lucky Charm

Aired January 7, 1991

A superstitious client of Uncle Phil takes Will under his wing as a good luck charm.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Well, here goes. Don't you all feel like a part of history? [opens paycheck] What? Federal taxes? This is an outrage. Didn't President Bush say, "No new taxes"?
Geoffrey: But federal taxes aren't new.
Hilary: Well, they are to me. And who is this FICA guy?
Vivian: Hilary, baby, taxes are taken out of everybody's salary. They pay for highways, national defense, and housing programs.
Hilary: I thought the government was supposed to pay for all that.

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Quote from Hilary

Vivian: Well, what exactly do you do in this job?
Hilary: Well, this is a very exclusive art gallery. And so they're trying to maintain a certain atmosphere. So, when customers come in the door, I ignore them. If they ask me about a piece of art, I look right through them. And if they ask for a price, I go like this. [snorts] And walk away.
Ashley: Hilary, it sounds like they hired you to be a snob.
Hilary: Well, I guess they saw something in me.

Quote from Philip

Vivian: Philip, I am really proud of you.
Philip: Well, life is too short to put up with the Jameson Whitworths of the world.
Will: Yo, straight up, Uncle Phil. I can't believe that loon changed his mind because you told him you were a Capricorn.
Vivian: Capricorn? Philip, your birthday's January 30. You're an Aquarius.
Philip: Vivian, for a $20 million account, I'm a Capricorn.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Everybody, the working girl is home.
Vivian: How was your day?
Hilary: I love working in an art gallery. I'm learning so much. I just told my boss, "Teach me. I'm a blank slate."
Geoffrey: Well, at least you're honest.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: I'm home. Carlton, get the camera. I want a picture of me opening my first paycheck.
Vivian: Congratulations, baby.
Philip: That's wonderful.
Hilary: I'm so excited. Mom, Daddy, I'm going to start paying my own way around here and I won't accept no for an answer.
Ashley: Well, you still owe me $5 for those magazines you bought.
Hilary: Ashley, don't be petty.

Quote from Geoffrey

Will: Hey, and the way you stood up for me, Uncle Phil, you were all that.
Philip: Yeah, well, I didn't like the way he was treating you.
Ashley: So what happened next?
Philip: Uncle Phil told him he could take his big account, fold it five ways and stick it where Sparky can't find it.
Carlton: Wow, Dad, that took guts.
Geoffrey: Well done, sir. You know, I've always wished I had the nerve to tell off my employers. [exits]

Quote from Will

Will: [dancing] He: Helium. Li: Lithium. Na: Sodium. Zn: Zinc. [music stops] Uncle Phil, please. Do you mind turning the music back on? I'm trying to study.

Quote from Vivian

Vivian: What time is Jameson getting here?
Philip: What are you wearing, Vivian?
Vivian: Excuse me?
Philip: That red blouse. That's Jameson's bad-luck color.
Vivian: Well, this happens to be my favorite blouse so he can just go find himself another bad-luck color.
Will: Maybe he can pick one out of Uncle Phil's pants.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: All set for a great game of golf, Dad.
Will: Carlton, what is it, recess at the clown convention?
Carlton: That's right. And by the way, Will, who cut your hair, Ray Charles? I've been saving that one for a week.
Don't even try to top it.

Quote from Will

Carlton: How are you, Mr. Whitworth?
Jameson: Not great. My caddy called me on the car phone a few minutes ago and canceled. I've learned my lesson: Never trust a Leo.
Will: Ain't that the truth? Man, back in Philly I knew this guy named Leo Brentley. The dude tried to steal my lucky drawers.
Jameson: You have a pair of lucky drawers?
Will: Well, yeah.
Jameson: So do l.
Philip: Well, this is all very interesting. Carlton, you can caddy for both of us. Shall we go, gentlemen?
Jameson: Wait a second, Philip. I have a very good feeling about this. How would you like to be my caddy?
Will: Yo man, I ain't down with carrying nobody's golf clubs.
Jameson: It's $50, plus tip.
Will: Fore!

Quote from Will

Jameson: I have to make it quick. I have to get back to the office. I'm making a major investment in Thornton Pharmaceuticals. Maybe I'll get lucky again, Will.
Will: That's wack.
Jameson: "Wack." In what sense of the word?
Will: It's Saturday afternoon. All you're thinking about is work. That's got to be hurting you with the girlies.
Philip: Will, please.
Will: Man, I say forget about the office, forget about that stock. Just max and relax.
Jameson: Huh?
Will: Kick back and enjoy yourself. Go home and let your wife know she's still got it.
Jameson: You're right. Doggone it, you're right.
Will: Doggone it, I'm right.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Geoffrey, I really think I made an impression on Mr. Whitworth.
Geoffrey: Ah, and was your sucking up as successful as you'd hoped?
Carlton: I'll say. And now I'm gonna apply for a summer job with his company.
Ashley: But, Carlton, Dad's his lawyer. Isn't that kind of using a connection?
Carlton: Well, duh.

Quote from Vivian

Jameson: Vivian, I brought this for you.
Vivian: What is it?
Jameson: It's a sprig of wolfsbane. Hang it over your kitchen door and all will be well.
Vivian: But Jameson, everything's fine in our kitchen.
Jameson: That you know of.

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, what's up, J?
Jameson: I'll tell you what. You saved me a lot of money.
Will: Word?
Jameson: On the golf course, you told me not to buy Thornton Pharmaceuticals. The stock dropped 10 points today.
Philip: Jameson, I think you're reading a little too much into this.
Will: Yeah, man, I don't know nothing about stocks. It was just luck.
Jameson: Precisely. You're a good-luck charm. I would've lost millions, but thanks to my "Yo, homey" here... I didn't.
Will: Oh, so what you're saying is thanks to me, you got lucky twice yesterday.
Jameson: Three times. The wife girlie will be smiling for months. You have a bright future, young man.

Quote from Vivian

Jameson: There are many forces at work in the universe, Will. For example, the power in numbers. The four arms of the Mutable Cross, Virgo. When the moon is in the seventh house. The sixth-ray energies, Saturn to Neptune, the seventh sun, born for good luck, all numbers.
Philip: Yeah. Jameson, why don't I fix you a drink?
Jameson: Oh, I don't drink. I like to keep my mind clear.
Vivian: I think he's cleared it out pretty well.

Quote from Will

Jameson: My lucky numbers have always been three and seven. Will, when's your birthday?
Will: July 3.
Jameson: What year?
Will: 1973.
Jameson: So you were born on 7-3-73... my lucky numbers.
Philip: Jameson, that's just a coincidence.
Jameson: Coincidence? I don't think so.
Carlton: I was born August 4, 1974.
Jameson: [jumps back] A Leo?

Quote from Will

Jameson: Will, I have an assignment for you. I want you to go through these files. They're about a company called lnnermark. I've been analyzing the data for months trying to decide whether or not I should buy it.
Will: Yo man, you want me to read all this?
Jameson: That's not necessary. Just feel the pages. Tell me what kind of energy you get back.
Philip: Jameson, I have to say this all sounds a little, well...
Vivian: lnsane?
Philip: Unorthodox. You have an excellent brokerage firm to advise you on investments.
Will: Yo, J, straight up, I don't know nothing about this stuff.
Jameson: Will, you don't know that you know but believe me, you know.
Will: Man, I don't know.

Quote from Vivian

Jameson: Philip, Vivian, have a nice day.
Vivian: Why is that man running loose on the streets without medication?
Philip: He's a little eccentric, Vivian, but he has a brilliant financial mind.
Vivian: Oh, he does? Philip, why don't you tell Will about Sparky?
Philip: I don't think we need to go into that.
Vivian: Last year Jameson was taking all of his stock advice from his dog.
Philip: That's untrue, Vivian. He only took tax advice from Sparky.
Vivian: Then, last spring, Sparky met with an untimely run-in with a milk truck but of course, that didn't stop Jameson from talking to him.
Will: He talks to the spirit of a dead dog?
Philip: No, no, no, no. He had him stuffed and put in his office.

Quote from Vivian

Will: Uncle Phil, why do you humor this guy? The planet he's on ain't even been discovered yet.
Philip: He's an important client and he's just entrusted you with a very serious financial decision. This has got to be handled delicately.
Will: Man, what am I supposed to do?
Philip: Tomorrow, you to go down to Whitworth's Capital Investments find Jameson Whitworth and tell him that you're a 17-year-old kid and you're in no position to give financial advice.
Vivian: Exactly. That's Sparky's job.

Quote from Will

Gladys: Your main man is in effect, Mr. Whitworth.
Jameson: Thank you, Gladys. Will, come in.
Will: Hey, what's going on, J?
Both: [shake hands] Pssh!
Will: You know, I just wanted to come so... [sees stuffed dog; screams]
Jameson: Is something wrong, Will?
Will: Uh, no. Look, I'm a little pressed for time, so let's just get right to the point.

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