Philip: You know, it's true what they say, TV really does add 10 pounds.
Geoffrey: Hmm. What would account for the other 250?
Philip: You know, you're not a man who enjoys employment, are you, Geoffrey?

Will: Aah! So did you do it? Well, I hope you're happy now. You know, you got what you wanted. I'm out. You're in.
Carlton: Is that about it?
Will: No, sir. I have only begun. See, you know what kills me? I was laughing while I was walking home because it's funny. You know, how we can live together all these years, almost like brothers and you could still low-bridge me the way you did.
Carlton: Are you about done?
Will: Oh, no, sir. Furthermore, you little...
Carlton: Snake? Weasel?
Will: Oh, yes.
Carlton: Nerd?
Will: Oh, yes.
Carlton: How about square-headed short stack?
Will: This is not the way this is supposed to be going.

Carlton: And action.
Will: Hi. As the king of poultry, I know what good chicken should taste like, and if you... Hold up, Carlton. Wait a minute. A chicken eating chicken? That's just sick.