Will Quote #1337

Quote from Will in Will's Up a Dirt Road

John Ridley: [on the phone] It's The Tonight Show. Of course I'm doing the Bill Clinton McDonald's bit. It's my best joke. You're my agent. I'm the one who should be nervous. I'll call you after the show, okay? Yeah. Bye.
Will: Hey, bro. How you doing? Have you seen Jay Leno?
John Ridley: No, and I probably won't until I'm on stage. I'm John Ridley. I'm the comedian.
Will: Oh. So you're John Ridley. Yeah. Oh, well, these are for you. They're from Mr. Leno.
John Ridley: Oh, thanks.
Will: Listen, John. How long have you been a standup?
John Ridley: About 10 years. Why?
Will: [sighs] I just hate this part of my job.
John Ridley: What part?
Will: Dude, you've been bumped.
John Ridley: Bumped?
Will: Listen, listen. One of Roseanne's other personalities showed up. We're gonna have to let her keep talking.
John Ridley: You gotta be kidding. My family in Milwaukee is gonna be watching. I got a killer opening bit.
Will: I'm sorry, bro, that's show biz. Let's go.
John Ridley: No, wait a minute, I got this great joke about how I'm so pro-black I won't even pick the cotton out of a bottle of aspirin.
Will: I think I did you a favor, bro.

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 ‘Will's Up a Dirt Road’ Quotes

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Quote from Hilary

Ashley: Hilary, that's wonderful.
Hilary: Nothing fancy. No more than six or seven bedrooms. And I don't even care if it has a wine cellar. For now.
Carlton: Wait a minute. How are you going to afford a house like that?
Hilary: I have discovered a unique method of savings. I never spend my own money. [giggles] By the way, Daddy, don't use your platinum card this month.
Carlton: Let me get this straight. All this time, you've been hoarding your salary while feasting away on the family fortune? What do you say to that, big guy?
Philip: All I heard is that she's moving.