Philip Quote #158

Quote from Philip in Striptease for Two

Philip: Sit. I'm not through with you two yet. I wanna know what excuse you have for pulling such a stupid stunt.
Carlton: We needed the money.
Philip: For what? And I want the truth.
Will: All right, it's like this, Uncle Phil. See, Carlton got this inside tip on a stock.
Philip: Federal offense. Go on.
Will: Well, then we pawned Aunt Viv's bracelet to get the money for the stock.
Philip: Grand larceny. lmpressive.
Will: And then we lost the money so we had to strip to get the bracelet back.
Philip: That would be indecent exposure.

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 ‘Striptease for Two’ Quotes

Quote from Philip

Philip: Is there more?
Carlton: I'm afraid so, Dad. We never got the clasp fixed on Mom's bracelet.
Philip: [chuckles] You never got the... [laughs; Will & Carlton start laughing] I don't know what to say. [all still laughing]
Will: We don't.
Philip: What can I do? What do you boys think I should do?
Will: I don't know. Reward us for our honesty? [all laugh uproariously] Hey, it worked for the Beave.
Philip: The Beave! [shouts] Do I look like a White guy named Ward? Now, you get that bracelet back and for the next six weeks I don't want to hear you breathe. Or I'm calling the Feds myself.
Will: I guess this probably ain't the best time to tell him we ran over the mailbox.

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Ah, my financial advisors have arrived. Moron! Fathead!
Carlton: l didn't know the Dodgers were playing.
Geoffrey: They're not, thieving wankers.

Quote from Geoffrey

Philip: This is a delicious meal, Geoffrey. You've outdone yourself.
Geoffrey: You're too kind, sir. Moron! Fathead!
Vivian: Geoffrey, must you listen to the Dodgers game during dinner?
Geoffrey: I'm terribly sorry, madam. But it is the bottom of the ninth, bases are loaded. However, I will maintain my professionalism. Bunt, you pasty-faced sod! Peas?