Will: Wait, wait, wait, hold on. Oh, say, hey, hey, Mr. McCoy, listen. Now, I would love to marry your daughter, you know, but I mean, who wouldn't?
Carlton: Me.
Will: Well, you see, it's my moms. You know, see, she's in Africa and I'm her only child. And it would just crush her to not be here to share in my happiness.
Hatfield McCoy: Well, we're real big on family so the wedding will take place just as soon as she gets back.
Will: But the engagement party is tonight. [gunfire & hillbilly whooping]
Big Bertha: And at least I have this picture of you to keep in my drawers.
Will: Whoa. Where did you get this?
Hatfield McCoy: The general store. Vern said some big fella's been asking about you. He left it. Come on, boys.
Carlton: Oh, my God. That means you-know-who is coming you-know-where.