Kelso Quote #566
Quote from Kelso in The Acid Queen
Kelso: Get those out of here, man. I'm trying to impress Brooke with my intelligence. Here she comes. Say, Eric, this encyclopedia of scientific terms has really taught me something. See, by lifting this encyclopedia of scientific terms above my head, I'm using my body's stored energy, also known as uranium.
Brooke: Um, actually, it's known as calories, but I do believe at some point you were exposed to radiation.
Kelso: All right, look, I don't know what you have against me, but I'm not leaving here until I convince you to go out with me.
Boy: That's the man who gave me the firecrackers, Mom.
Kelso: I gotta run.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘The Acid Queen’ Quotes
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: Well, Donna, turns out Brooke doesn't like intelligent men.
Hyde: Kelso, you didn't have sex with her, man, just let it go.
Brooke: [enters] Michael, I need to talk to you.
Kelso: Yeah, about what?
Brooke: About our night together at the Molly Hatchet concert.
Kelso: [smiles] Excuse me. [to Fez] Burn! [to Donna] Burn! [to Eric] Burn! [to Jackie] Burn! [to Hyde] Burn!
[Kelso runs upstairs into the kitchen]
Kelso: [to Kitty] Burn! [to Red] Burn.
[Kelso runs out the sliding door and down the stairs back to the basement]
Kelso: Burn. We totally did it!
Brooke: Michael, I just found out I'm pregnant.
Kelso: I never touched her.
Quote from Fez
Fez: Guys, guess what I just heard in the ladies' bathroom?
Eric: Fez, what were you doing in the ladies' bathroom?
Fez: Oh, spying, eating lunch, you know. I heard two girls say they did not want to go to college as virgins.
Kelso: Yeah, I caught that wave last year.
Fez: So I'm thinking, if horny virgins are dying for sex, then a-hunting horny virgins I will go.
Hyde: By the way, Fez, it's not pronounced virgin, it's pronounced vir-gin.
Fez: I thought it was virgin?
Kelso: No, no. Hyde's right. It's vir-gin.
Fez: Oh, now I will not sound stupid in front of the beautiful vir-gins.
Quote from Fez
Fez: Oh, hey, Jackie. Are any of your college-bound friends vir-gins?
Jackie: It's pronounced virgins, Fez.
Fez: What? But, no, but Hyde said... Oh, you magnificent bastard.
Hyde: Sorry, buddy. By the way, it's pronounced bas-tard.
Jackie: Fez, if you wanna find virgins, go where ugly girls pray to get pretty, the local House of Worship.
Fez: House of Worship? Are you sure you don't mean the House of Pies?
Jackie: No, Fez, I mean the House of Worship.
Fez: I'm going to the House of Pies.