Kelso Quote #564
Quote from Kelso in The Acid Queen
Kelso: You know what? For the first time in my life, I hope that there's not a secret hot girls club, because if there is, I bet Brooke said awful things about me at their last meeting.
[fantasy:]
Jackie: [bangs gavel] Order, bitches. The secret hot girls club is now in session.
Donna: Now, last meeting we all decided to go braless, and I just wanna report that Operation Bazooma Bounce is driving the boys insane.
Jackie: Ah! [girls cheer]
Brooke: Hi, my name is Brooke and I've been a hot girl for 6 years.
All: Hi, Brooke.
Brooke: And I just wanna let everyone know that Michael Kelso asked me out, and I resisted his charms and turned him down. [Jackie gasps]
Donna: But he's irresistible.
Brooke: That's what I thought, but it's a lie. A lie, I tell you. [Donna gasps]
Jackie: Then it's official. No secret hot girl will ever date Michael Kelso ever again. Yay. [all cheer] Okay, that's great, that's great. Now this calls for dancing bubble kiss time.
[reality:]
Donna: Kelso, there is no secret hot girls club.
Kelso: Well, of course, the president won't admit it.
Eric: You know, I don't care if there's a club or not, dancing bubble kiss time is just a fabulous idea.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘The Acid Queen’ Quotes
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: Well, Donna, turns out Brooke doesn't like intelligent men.
Hyde: Kelso, you didn't have sex with her, man, just let it go.
Brooke: [enters] Michael, I need to talk to you.
Kelso: Yeah, about what?
Brooke: About our night together at the Molly Hatchet concert.
Kelso: [smiles] Excuse me. [to Fez] Burn! [to Donna] Burn! [to Eric] Burn! [to Jackie] Burn! [to Hyde] Burn!
[Kelso runs upstairs into the kitchen]
Kelso: [to Kitty] Burn! [to Red] Burn.
[Kelso runs out the sliding door and down the stairs back to the basement]
Kelso: Burn. We totally did it!
Brooke: Michael, I just found out I'm pregnant.
Kelso: I never touched her.
Quote from Fez
Fez: Guys, guess what I just heard in the ladies' bathroom?
Eric: Fez, what were you doing in the ladies' bathroom?
Fez: Oh, spying, eating lunch, you know. I heard two girls say they did not want to go to college as virgins.
Kelso: Yeah, I caught that wave last year.
Fez: So I'm thinking, if horny virgins are dying for sex, then a-hunting horny virgins I will go.
Hyde: By the way, Fez, it's not pronounced virgin, it's pronounced vir-gin.
Fez: I thought it was virgin?
Kelso: No, no. Hyde's right. It's vir-gin.
Fez: Oh, now I will not sound stupid in front of the beautiful vir-gins.
Quote from Fez
Fez: Oh, hey, Jackie. Are any of your college-bound friends vir-gins?
Jackie: It's pronounced virgins, Fez.
Fez: What? But, no, but Hyde said... Oh, you magnificent bastard.
Hyde: Sorry, buddy. By the way, it's pronounced bas-tard.
Jackie: Fez, if you wanna find virgins, go where ugly girls pray to get pretty, the local House of Worship.
Fez: House of Worship? Are you sure you don't mean the House of Pies?
Jackie: No, Fez, I mean the House of Worship.
Fez: I'm going to the House of Pies.