Red: Oh, no. She hasn't done this since Elvis died on the crapper. Now I've gotta sit by her bed for four days and tell her that she's beautiful. It's hard to say that to a cold-cream-smeared loony in bunny slippers.
Eric: I remember that week. The shades were drawn. The food supply ran low. We were sucking on bouillon cubes to stay alive.

Bea: So what were you saying, dear?
Eric: Um, well, I was saying that I'm getting married.
Bea: Oh, honey, how wonderful! So, who's the lucky girl?
Eric: Well, um, Donna.
Bea: Oh. Well, I guess this is a small town. [chuckles] [kisses Eric's head and walks away]
Donna: Okay, what the hell did that mean?
Eric: That, my friend, is the seldom heard but much feared Grandma burn. Your only warning is the jingle of costume jewelry and the overpowering scent of BenGay.

Eric: Okay, let me get this straight. After my grandpa's funeral, Kelso and Annette are making out. Jackie sees them and yells, "Get off my boyfriend"? Right in front of you?
Fez: Yeah, it brought the whole funeral way down.
Eric: Hyde, that's horrible, man. You know what's even worse? I totally missed it.
Hyde: Yeah? Well, nobody else missed it. Half the fricking town was there. And today at The Hub, you know that kid Jimmy with the headgear? He said he felt bad for me. Jimmy Headgear felt bad for me! I knew it was a mistake hooking up with Jackie, and I did it anyway. You know why? 'Cause she makes you stupid. I bet Kelso was composing symphonies before her.