Red Quote #400
Eric: Guys, calm down. Look, what could he possibly do to us at dinner?
Red: [enters] Ah, good. All the half-wits are here. I wanted to let you know that I'm going to get you, and you won't know where, and you won't know when. But it will hurt. And you will cry, and I will laugh, and... Did I mention it will hurt? Very good. Now, enjoy the lasagna. I added the special seasoning myself.
Eric: Special seasoning? Uh-oh.
Kelso: All right. Maybe it's because I'm extra clever, but I think that there might be something wrong with the lasagna, and I think maybe Red had somethin' to do with it.
Red: Kelso, I wouldn't do anything to the lasagna. Just like I wouldn't do anything to your new sneakers that are sitting by the kitchen door.
Kelso: My Chucks!
Kitty: Why isn't anybody eating? Is there something wrong with my lasagna?
Hyde: We have reason to believe it's been tampered with.
Kitty: Is this another prank? Because I will not have this in my house. Now eat that lasagna. It's perfectly fine. I said eat it!
Eric: [eats] Mmm. Dad, what is this special seasoning?
Red: Oh, a little of this, a little of that. Which reminds me. Kitty, I cleaned out the dead moths from the porch light. If I could only remember where I put them.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Prank Day’ Quotes
Quote from Red
Eric: No, uh, Dad, this was just a prank that's gone wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong.
Red: Well, I've got a prank too. One where my foot doesn't plow through your ass. Let's hope it doesn't go horribly, horribly wrong!
Quote from Kelso
Hyde: Well, that's a mighty big smile. What, did you get into the Play-doh?
Kelso: No. I'm happy 'cause today is Gift Day. And in honor of this special day, I got you all gifts.
Eric: All right. Aerosmith Live.
Kelso: Yeah, for my friend who rocks.
Hyde: Oh, man. The new Rolling Stone.
Kelso: For my friend who reads.
Fez: [gasps] Oreos!
Kelso: For my friend who snacks.
[Eric groans as he puts on a set of headphones. Fez groans as he bites one of the Oreos. A farting sound is heard as Hyde sits down on the couch.]
Kelso: A triple-decker burn! Awesome!
Eric: Wha-There's peanut butter on my headphones!
Fez: These cookies are filled with toothpaste!
Hyde: All right. That noise did not come out of my butt.
Kelso: Welcome to Prank Day. That's right. It's Prank Day. "Gift Day." You idiots.
Hyde: A whoopee cushion? What are you, two? [squeezes whoopie cushion] These things are great.
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: Let's just watch TV. Hey, Fez, I think there's a Nancy Drew on.
Fez: Oh! She can solve my mystery any day. [chuckles] And by the way, the mystery is in my pants.
Eric: Okay. That's it. I got a peanut in my ear.
Kelso: Yeah. I used chunky, so it might get up in your brain.
Eric: Yeah. Ha-ha. Laugh it up now, man, 'cause fun time is over. [struggles to remove his hand from the freezer] What the hell? I'm stuck.
Fez: [struggles to remove hand from TV] I have been glued!
Kelso: Not glued, superglued.
Hyde: Whoa, whoa, whoa. So you covered the freezer handle and the TV knob in superglue? Knowing Forman's love for Popsicles and Fez's love for knobs!
Kelso: Yeah. I'm an evil mastermind.
[As Hyde stands up to give Kelso a high-five, the chair cushion comes with him]
Hyde: Kelso, is there a cushion glued to my butt?
Kelso: No. Not glued, superglued.
Hyde: You're a dead man.
Kelso: Yeah? What are you gonna do, sit on me with your cushion-butt? [giggles] It won't hurt, 'cause it's a cushion-butt.