Red Quote #399
Eric: Dad?
Red: All right. Just tell me. What the hell did you think you were doing?
Eric: Look, Kelso invented this stupid Prank Day thing and he superglued us, so the oatmeal thing was just to, you know, get him back. And that's when my life as I know it ended.
Red: Are you telling me, I got covered with oatmeal because you were trying to get back at Kelso? Which you didn't even do?
Eric: Well, that's a bit of an oversimplification. I think if you look at the facts-
Red: You- The facts are, you were bested by a Kelso. How could you do this to your family?
Eric: I didn't realize the honor of our family was at stake.
Red: It always is. Hell, we've been talking about this since T-ball, which you quit. I mean, what was there to be scared of? The ball just sits there. All right, here's what I'm gonna do. Instead of punishing you, I'm gonna show you how to do this prank business right. Now, get the Three Stooges over to dinner tonight. You are going to help me get them good and scared.
Eric: Oh, well, no, Dad. I don't wanna get Hyde and Fez. They're on my team.
Red: Well, your team lost. So everybody cries.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Prank Day’ Quotes
Quote from Red
Eric: No, uh, Dad, this was just a prank that's gone wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong.
Red: Well, I've got a prank too. One where my foot doesn't plow through your ass. Let's hope it doesn't go horribly, horribly wrong!
Quote from Kelso
Hyde: Well, that's a mighty big smile. What, did you get into the Play-doh?
Kelso: No. I'm happy 'cause today is Gift Day. And in honor of this special day, I got you all gifts.
Eric: All right. Aerosmith Live.
Kelso: Yeah, for my friend who rocks.
Hyde: Oh, man. The new Rolling Stone.
Kelso: For my friend who reads.
Fez: [gasps] Oreos!
Kelso: For my friend who snacks.
[Eric groans as he puts on a set of headphones. Fez groans as he bites one of the Oreos. A farting sound is heard as Hyde sits down on the couch.]
Kelso: A triple-decker burn! Awesome!
Eric: Wha-There's peanut butter on my headphones!
Fez: These cookies are filled with toothpaste!
Hyde: All right. That noise did not come out of my butt.
Kelso: Welcome to Prank Day. That's right. It's Prank Day. "Gift Day." You idiots.
Hyde: A whoopee cushion? What are you, two? [squeezes whoopie cushion] These things are great.
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: Let's just watch TV. Hey, Fez, I think there's a Nancy Drew on.
Fez: Oh! She can solve my mystery any day. [chuckles] And by the way, the mystery is in my pants.
Eric: Okay. That's it. I got a peanut in my ear.
Kelso: Yeah. I used chunky, so it might get up in your brain.
Eric: Yeah. Ha-ha. Laugh it up now, man, 'cause fun time is over. [struggles to remove his hand from the freezer] What the hell? I'm stuck.
Fez: [struggles to remove hand from TV] I have been glued!
Kelso: Not glued, superglued.
Hyde: Whoa, whoa, whoa. So you covered the freezer handle and the TV knob in superglue? Knowing Forman's love for Popsicles and Fez's love for knobs!
Kelso: Yeah. I'm an evil mastermind.
[As Hyde stands up to give Kelso a high-five, the chair cushion comes with him]
Hyde: Kelso, is there a cushion glued to my butt?
Kelso: No. Not glued, superglued.
Hyde: You're a dead man.
Kelso: Yeah? What are you gonna do, sit on me with your cushion-butt? [giggles] It won't hurt, 'cause it's a cushion-butt.