Red Quote #216
Quote from Red in Cat Fight Club
Red: Have a seat, Kelso. You know, I've been thinking a lot about your relationship with my only daughter.
Kelso: She's a gem.
Red: [picks up pliers] Shut up. Kitty says that if the two of you want to see each other, there's nothing I can do about it. But she's wrong... 'Cause I could kill you. That's a joke, Kelso. You should laugh when I make a joke.
Kelso: [chuckles] Hey, good one, Red.
Red: See, you're making me think that I should take a personal interest in you, and you don't want that. Take Eric, for example. I have a personal interest in him.
Kelso: Oh, God.
Red: There you go. What you want to do here is fly under my radar so that if I never see you and Laurie together or hear your name mentioned in the same breath, I might just forget that you even exist. Got it?
Kelso: Yeah... Okay, so you mean if me and Laurie...
Red: Oh, now, see, you just mentioned my daughter's name.
Kelso: I'm sorry. Okay. Um... If Kelso and your daughter...
Red: No, no, no. See, now, that's, uh... That's not gonna work, either.
Kelso: Well, this is hard, Red!
Red: Yeah. Well, you're gonna be here 'til you get it right, Kelso.
Kelso: Okay, Red, but eventually my parents are gonna come lookin' for me.
Red: Yeah, but they're not gonna find you. Oh, that's another joke. Come on, laugh, Kelso!
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Cat Fight Club’ Quotes
Quote from Jackie
Laurie: Next time we go hiking, make sure you bring a blanket. I think I have a twig in my shorts.
Hyde: What a coincidence. So does Kelso.
Jackie: Burn!
Kelso: Okay, okay. Nice burn. Hi, Jackie.
Jackie: Oh, look. It's Michael and his community chest.
Hyde: Nice.
Quote from Hyde
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Eric: And the rest of dinner, was eaten in complete silence. The only sound was the dull throbbing of that vein in Red's giant, shiny head.
Fez: Boy, I'm glad I'm not Kelso. Sure, he's had sex a lot and I am still a virgin, but... Oh, I wish I was Kelso.
Hyde: No, you don't, Fez. Being Kelso is like knowing the truth behind all the deceptions in society, but not being able to convince any of your fellow suburban clones that anything's wrong, man. No, wait. That's me.
Jackie: [laughs] Man, I just totally forgot why I was laughing. Isn't that funny?
Eric: Okay, uh, no more for the cheerleader. Okay?
Fez: Jackie, you seem different. I don't know if it's your hair, your outfit... or your red, puffy eyes.
Hyde: She's Zen, man. I've taken her under my wing. I'm running a dojo of coolness. Jackie, demonstrate.
Jackie: Oogly moogly. Googly. [laughs]
Hyde: Yeah, it's her first day.
Quote from Hyde
Hyde: No, man, Zen. At peace. Aloof. Zen.
Jackie: Oh. Okay, then... Hyde, will you teach me how to be Zen?
Hyde: You can't just teach someone to be Zen, Jackie. You can only learn to be Zen.
Jackie: Okay, I don't understand.
Hyde: Exactly. And that's your first lesson.
Jackie: Huh?
Hyde: Jackie, if you want to be my student, you need to follow my instructions without question.
Jackie: Okay. Okay. See? I can do that.
Hyde: Okay. First thing, finish polishing my boots.
Jackie: Hyde, how's that gonna help...
Hyde: What?
Jackie: Okay.
Hyde: You're gonna make a fine student. Shine, grasshopper. Shine.