Kelso: So, Saturday night, you and that husband of yours got any big plans?
Kitty: Well, we sure do. First he's taking me on The Love Boat and then he is taking me to Fantasy Island. "Ze plane, ze plane!" I love that guy, he is so little.

Kelso: You guys are not gonna believe this. I was fired! I'm off the force.
Hyde: Man, if only I had said I didn't want a bachelor party maybe none of this would have happened. Oh, well.
Kelso: Oh, it was humiliating. They took my badge and they took my gun and then when I went to say goodbye to the police dog, I accidentally shot him. There is only one thing that would cheer me up tonight.
Fez: A strip club?
Kelso: You freaky little mind reader! Let's go, I'll drive. We'll take my cop car.
Hyde: Wait, you didn't have to turn that in?
Kelso: They didn't even ask!

Kelso: You know, the thing about being a cop is, we may look like normal people, I mean, I don't, obviously, but we have to go through rigorous training to be able to withstand any kind of mental, physical, or emotional pain. [eats ice cream] Ah, brain freeze! Make it stop! Make it stop!