Fez Quote #124
Quote from Fez in Eric's Stash
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Eric: So... Boy, am I disappointed. I went to get my money, but someone stole it. So forget the fake gold necklace from Sears. Now I gotta get Donna a crappy gift.
Kelso: Hey, what would you guys rather see Jackie do, walk a tightrope or ride a mechanical bull?
Hyde: Well, either way, she'll fall on her ass, so I like 'em both.
Fez: So, Eric, which rat bastard do you think stole your money?
Eric: Well, I mean, it's anyone's guess. For all I know, I mean, it could be someone in this very room.
Fez: How exciting. A mystery. Is Fez a suspect?
Eric: Yeah, probably not, Fez.
Fez: Why not? I can be evil. I hate you. See? Oh, Eric, I don't hate you. I love you. I'm sorry.
Eric: That's okay, Fez. And, uh, I'm also pretty sure Kelso here didn't take it.
Kelso: [laughs] Hey, how long do you guys think Jackie could hold her breath?
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Eric's Stash’ Quotes
Quote from Jackie
Jackie: Oh, my God. You guys. Guess who's gonna be in the Miss Dairy Princess Pageant?
Fez: Oh, I know. A cow?
Jackie: No. Me!
Donna: A beauty pageant?
Jackie: Yeah! I mean, look, Donna, it's not enough that we know I'm prettier than everyone else. I want the world to know!
Donna: And what better way to do it than go on stage and parade around like a piece of meat?
Jackie: I know! I know!
Quote from Kelso
Hyde: Man, a beauty coach? What's goin' on with you?
Kelso: When Jackie wins this pageant, I am gonna be the guy with the hottest chick of all of the hot chicks.
Hyde: Yeah, Kelso, that's genius.
Kelso: Yeah, just picture it.
[fantasy:]
Bob Eubanks: And this year's Miss Dairy Princess is... Kelso's girlfriend!
Kelso: Yes! [giggles] Oh, thank you! Thank you. Thank you, Bob Eubanks.
Bob Eubanks: Mr. Kelso, now that you've been crowned, what's going to be your first order of business?
Kelso: Well, as Mr. Dairy Princess, I would like to give milk products to all of those in need. And then someday, I would like to rule an entire hot chick dairy kingdom! Settle down, girls. There's plenty of me to go around here.
Quote from Fez
Eric: So, if you'll all please avert your eyes, I have to, uh, get my secret stash of cash.
Hyde: What, you mean your Candy Land stash?
Eric: My Can... I don't keep my money in the... Candy Land box.
Fez: You moved your money from the Candy Land box?
Eric: Oh, shut up and turn around! Oh, my God, you guys. Someone stole all my money.
Fez: From Candy Land? How could such a sad thing happen in such a happy place?