Donna: So my parents are fighting all the time and they want me to choose sides. But I can't because they're both idiots. I don't know. I mean, I really think they're gonna get a divorce.
Jackie: Oh, my God, Donna, I am so sorry. But you know what? That very thing happened to a good friend of mine and now she has twice as much stuff, twice as much clothes, and her parents even fought over who got to buy her a car.
Donna: I mean, you're right, Jackie. This whole divorce thing could actually work to my advantage.
Jackie: Exactly.
Donna: Yeah, I just have to make it very clear that my love is contingent on how much they buy me.
Jackie: Why am I even talking to you about this? You have a great handle on it.
Donna: Excuse me, um, Jackie, when exactly did you lose your soul?
Jackie: Um... cheerleading camp.

Red: I want a big TV. A big one.
Eric: This one's on sale.
Red: That's last year's model. And my TV's gonna be new.
Hyde: What about that one?
Red: No remote. My TV's gotta have a remote. Oh, look at this. Twenty-six-inch screen. I didn't even know they made them that big.
Eric: Dad, your old TV wasn't that big.
Red: No. But my new TV's gonna be that big.

Fez: It is popping. Help me. It is popping in my mouth.
Jackie: Fez, they're Pop Rocks, okay? That's what they do. They pop.
Kelso: Jackie, you know what would be cool to do with these in your mouth?
Eric: Oh, Donna, look, everyone's here. And I thought we'd be all alone. Phew.
Fez: Oh, I get it. They want to make out.
Kelso: [gives Eric the Pop Rocks] Psst. For her pleasure.