Laurie: Oh, you did not get this from a lot. You stole it.
Eric: I haggled.
Laurie: With who? Smokey the Bear? You stole it.
Eric: Well, I mean, you're one to talk. You're flunking out of college.
Laurie: How'd you know?
Eric: I didn't.
Laurie: Shut up!
Eric: Shut up.
Laurie: You shut up!
Eric: You shut up!
Laurie: [backs away] Okay. Okay.

Red: You know, Bob, I- I just want to thank you again for the job, you know?
Bob: Oh, I always need extra help during the holidays. I feel like you're my second-in-command around here. So, listen, how about you close up for me on Christmas Eve?
Red: Why would we be open?
Bob: Oh, it's a big night, Red. See, picture a guy driving home from work on Christmas Eve. [hums] Fa la la la la
Red: Bob, nobody works on Christmas Eve.
Bob: All of a sudden, he realizes he forgot to buy a gift! Then he passes by the store here, sees we're the only place open. So what does he do? He comes in here and buys a fridge.
Red: So this guy's insane?
Bob: Not my place to judge. So what do you say?
Red: Fine.
Bob: I knew I could count on you, Red. Of course, you'll have to wear the Santa Claus suit.
Red: [chuckles] You got me there, Bob.
Bob: No, I'm serious, Red.
Red: No. You got me there, Bob.

Jackie: Oh, I just love Christmas. It's all about good tidings and cheer. [exhales] And shopping.
Hyde: Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what Jesus was going for.
Jackie: Hey, I give, too. Every year, my friends and I deliver gift baskets to the unfortunate.
Donna: I think you mean less fortunate.
Jackie: Okay, whatever. Bums.