Jackie Quote #17
Quote from Jackie in Eric's Burger Job
Jackie: Oh, Daddy. I'm so sad.
Mr. Burkhart: Why, kitten?
Jackie: Because Fatso Burger hired Eric instead of Michael.
Mr. Burkhart: I know, kitten.
Jackie: Why would they do that, Daddy?
Mr. Burkhart: Let me tell you a little story about Doofus and Diligent.
[fantasy: a black-and-white employee training video shows Eric cleaning a counter and Kelso's buttcrack showing as he sits on the counter:]
Mr. Burkhart: [v.o.] Doofus is friendly but he doesn't follow directions well. Now, Diligent always does his job by the book. This is how the book says to do it. "Wipe left to right." Looks like a big order just came in. "Let me help, guys," says Diligent. "But wait a second. Where's Doofus?" What do you know about that? Let's see what happens here. "I was in such a hurry to get back to work, I almost forgot!" Thatta boy, Diligent! "Hey, there, Doofus. You're supposed to wash your hands after using the facility." "Ha! No way, Diligent. That's for squares."
[present:]
Jackie: So Michael's a Doofus?
Mr. Burkhart: And how.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Eric's Burger Job’ Quotes
Quote from Red
Red: Don't slouch.
Eric: Wouldn't that fall under the "stand up straight" category?
Red: See? That's a smartmouth. You're fired, Mr. Smartmouth. See? That's how that works.
Quote from Red
Hyde: Well, what do you know, Kelso? We're out of beer. You know what? Forman's old man's got a fridge in the garage and I know he's got beer in it.
[Once again, Red sits up in his chair. As Hyde, Kelso and Fez sneak into Red's garage, they stumble into the lawn mower, making a loud clatter. As they reach the fridge, they are illuminated by the head lights of the Vista Cruiser. The guys scream.]
Kelso: [points to Fez] It was his idea.
Fez: Remind me to kick your ass.
Hyde: Uh, hey, Red. Uh... Is Forman around?
Red: Well, he sure as hell is not inside that fridge. [drinks beer]
Quote from Kitty
Eric: So, Dad, the guys and I are thinking about getting jobs.
Kitty: No, no, no. You have a job. It's your job to get good grades, go to college, graduate and... leave me.