TV Quotes

Red: Have you been in bed all day?
Eric: Yeah, I have. I've been reading the Jack Kerouac classic On The Road. See, as I see it, why get out of bed when you can read about people who got out of bed?
Red: You have got to be the laziest non-communist I've ever met. And you are about to read a book that my foot wrote. It's called On The Road To In Your Ass.

Kitty: He just wants you to have some direction and so do I. And you are in luck because I got the new issue of Cosmo.
Eric: Oh, well, I'm just not sure I need seven new ways to please my man.
Kitty: No. No. Honey, it's a job aptitude test. Okay, question number one. "Do you consider yourself creative?"
Eric: Well...
Kitty: Yes. You were a little wiz at macaroni art. "Do you prefer to work alone or with others?"
Eric: Alone.
Kitty: Nope, you love people. Okay, question three. "Do you..." Oh, that's easy.
Eric: Look, Mom, I'm happy just enjoying my world. I'm like an explorer. I'm exactly like Christopher Columbus. Except, you know, I've been incredibly distracted by television.
Kitty: Okay. All done. Now, according to your answers, you should be a nurse!

Hyde: So, let's just do rock, paper, scissors, see who the best man is, all right?
Fez: No, no, no, no. I hate that game. I always lose.
Hyde: 'Cause you always pick rock.
Fez: That's because nothing beats rock.
Hyde: Paper beats rock. Those are the rules.
Fez: Eh, not buying it.
Hyde: Fine. We'll play a new game. How about cockroach, foot, nuclear bomb? Foot squashes cockroach. Nuclear bomb... Pow! ...blows up foot. And cockroach survives nuclear bomb.
Fez: Oh, that's great. I'll be nuclear bomb. Nothing beats nuclear bomb.
Hyde: I just told you, cockroach beats nuclear bomb.
Fez: Oh, we'll see about that.

Red: Okay, I think that we've been reviewing long enough. Let's see what you've learnt. I'll start you off with an easy one. Where do you live?
Fez: Amedica.
Red: It's pronounced America.
Fez: That's what I said, Amedica.
Red: America.
Fez: Amedica.