Donna: No, this has been really hard. And this celibacy thing was my idea, so... I need to accept some responsibility for the odd and disgusting things you do.
Eric: That's right, you do.
Donna: But, you know, next time, be like a normal person. Go to your room, lock the door, light some candles, put on some Al Green and make an evening of it.
Eric: Wow, Donna, that was really detailed. [chuckles] It's almost like... Oh, my God! You do it, too!
Donna: What?
Eric: No, no! I'd noticed the candles getting lower, even though I'd never seen them lit!
Donna: All right, this conversation is over! [exits]
Eric: Wow. So, this is where it all happens. [takes candle]

Eric: You know what? This is Donna's fault with her, you know, "No more sex till we're married" crap. You guys have no idea how hard it's been to have no sex at all.
Fez: Yeah, it must be horrible.
Eric: Seriously, you guys, what do I do now?
Hyde: I say you've got to pull a Nixon. Deny, deny, deny.
Fez: No, you just need a good story. Whenever I get caught, I just tell people that I'm checking for ticks.
Hyde: Fez, how many times have you been caught?
Fez: Oh, come on, I'm not stopping just because a doorknob turns.

Donna: Okay, the thing is, I knew Eric did that, but knowing and seeing are two very different things. It's kind of like how I know there are rats under the house.
Jackie: But you don't want to see the rats diddling themselves in your bathroom.
Donna: Exactly!
Jackie: But, Donna, you're missing the whole point here. Eric's perverted behavior can be a card you could play for the rest of your life. Let's just say you want Eric to buy you a diamond, but he says, "No." You just say, "Why, are you busy?" Five minutes later, you're Elizabeth Taylor.
Donna: Yeah, I think I need advice from a woman in a relationship not built on blackmail.
Jackie: It's called a lesbian, Donna, and you're going to have to go to New York for that.