Eric: God, this is so sad. It's like, what have we been doing with our lives?
[flashback to the boys playing cards in a circle in Forman's basement:]
Young Hyde: Hey, Kelso, who's got stronger powers, I Dream of Jeannie or Samantha from Bewitched?
Young Kelso: That's easy. Samantha. Witches totally beat genies 'cause witches can fly. Game over.
Young Eric:Hey, why does Jeannie wear those see-through clothes? It's gross. And it makes me feel funny.
[flashback to the guys as teenagers in a circle in Eric's basement:]
Young Hyde: No way is Samantha hotter than Jeannie! Hey, I heard they made an episode they never aired where Jeannie gets totally naked. The government banned it.
Young Kelso: All I know is, with one little nose twitch Samantha's clothes could be off! And that's hot.
Young Eric: What if you didn't have to choose? What if you could be with both at the same time?
Young Kelso: Is that legal?
Young Hyde: Hey, man, if you don't get caught everything's legal. Stolen pretzel?
[flashback to the guys in a circle:]
Eric: Guys, this conversation is over. Yesterday, Samantha went back in time. That trumps anything Jeannie ever did.
Kelso: Oh, yeah? Well, Jeannie can freeze time. So, Samantha would go back, and Jeannie could just freeze her there. Who kicked whose ass then?
Hyde: You know what would decide this whole thing? A little Samantha-on-Jeannie mud wrestling. I'd pay a dollar to see that.
Fez: All I know is, Samantha helps Darrin at work but what does Jeannie do for Major Nelson? Turns his boss into a monkey. This is not helpful.
Donna: I've got to call Major Nelson's sexuality into question here. I mean, any guy who's got a half-naked genie, he's got her doing more than his laundry.
Jackie: Hey, you know what would be best? Samantha's hair, Jeannie's pretty bottle room and Wonder Woman's accessories. [imitates bullets ricocheting]
Hyde: Hey, guys. We've been talking about this for a really, really long time.