[title: "Ye Olde '70s Show"]
[title: "Bleak English moor: A long time ago..."; fantasy:]
Eric: Oh, Wanda.
Donna: Oh, Derek.
Eric: Oh, Wanda.
Donna: Yes, Derek?
Eric: You're not just my next-door neighbor. You're also the love of my life.
Donna: Derek, I, too, have strong feelings of love for you, but I have to give back this promise ball and chain. I must leave Point Upon the Place and explore the world with my trusty cat named Sir Bonkers.
Eric: No. I'll never let you go. [thunderclap]
Donna: You can't make me stay.
Eric: Oh, no? What if I told you that I've run over the cat named Sir Bonkers and the cat named Sir Bonkers is no more? Now submit and be my wife! [thunderclap]
Donna: Derek, once you were a kind, peaceful man, but love has made you wicked.
Eric: Oh, I am wicked. And until you agree to be my wife, I will scour the earth in search of cats named "Sir Bonkers" and I will kill them all! Or at very least, spray them with water which everyone knows they hate. [thunderclap] [maniacal laugh]
[reality:]
Eric: I can't believe Donna would publish this in the school paper.
Fez: I know. This could be in Reader's Digest. It's that good.
Eric: Oh, this is the worst short story by an ex-girlfriend in a school newspaper ever.