Eric Quote #423
Quote from Eric in Donna's Story
[title: "Ye Olde '70s Show"]
[title: "Bleak English moor: A long time ago..."; fantasy:]
Eric: Oh, Wanda.
Donna: Oh, Derek.
Eric: Oh, Wanda.
Donna: Yes, Derek?
Eric: You're not just my next-door neighbor. You're also the love of my life.
Donna: Derek, I, too, have strong feelings of love for you, but I have to give back this promise ball and chain. I must leave Point Upon the Place and explore the world with my trusty cat named Sir Bonkers.
Eric: No. I'll never let you go. [thunderclap]
Donna: You can't make me stay.
Eric: Oh, no? What if I told you that I've run over the cat named Sir Bonkers and the cat named Sir Bonkers is no more? Now submit and be my wife! [thunderclap]
Donna: Derek, once you were a kind, peaceful man, but love has made you wicked.
Eric: Oh, I am wicked. And until you agree to be my wife, I will scour the earth in search of cats named "Sir Bonkers" and I will kill them all! Or at very least, spray them with water which everyone knows they hate. [thunderclap] [maniacal laugh]
[reality:]
Eric: I can't believe Donna would publish this in the school paper.
Fez: I know. This could be in Reader's Digest. It's that good.
Eric: Oh, this is the worst short story by an ex-girlfriend in a school newspaper ever.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Donna's Story’ Quotes
Quote from Fez
Fez: Um, guys, I don't understand. What does "consummate" mean?
Hyde: It means to have sex.
Fez: Really? Now I have two words for that.
Donna: Eric, you just wrote this to hurt me.
Eric: What? I did not! And, hey, so did you.
Donna: Look, when I wrote my story, I just sat down, and that's what came out. I didn't, like, plan it or anything. And besides- No, you know what? I don't have to explain myself to you. [exits]
Fez: Okay, I'd like someone to explain it to me.
Hyde: Uh, well, that's easy, Fez. See, Donna, as an artist wrote her story to get some perspective on her life. Forman, as a vindictive ass, wrote his story to be a vindictive ass.
Fez: Oh, Eric, I think you just consummated yourself. [laughs] See what I did there? Looks easy, but it's not.
Quote from Fez
Kelso: Listen, listen. So, I bought a half stake in this machine, all right? So that means for every quarter I put into it, I get half back. That's a 50% profit!
Fez: Uh, actually, Kelso, I think that's a 50% loss.
Kelso: Fez, I know it's hard for a foreigner to understand our complicated capitalist system. But we're dealing with quarters here, not frogs or chickens.
Fez: Well, I'm not going to dignify that with a response because I can't think of one. But when I do, a good day to you.
Kelso: All right, Fez.
Fez: I said kiss my ass.
Quote from Red
Kitty: Come on, Red. Bob really wants us to meet his new lady friend.
Red: Now, think about it, Kitty. She likes Bob. I have a hard time believing this woman even exists. We're gonna get over there, Bob's gonna be sitting in a rocker with a lady's wig on. "You look lovely tonight, Bob." "So do you, Bob."
Kitty: You've been working on that all day, haven't you?
Red: Yeah.