Charlie: Mr. Forman, I was looking for you to apologize about the dress thing, okay? But then I opened the door and wow. No, no, I don't mean, "Wow." I mean, "Oh, no!" No, no, I don't mean, "Oh, no."
Red: Well, what were you doing just standing there?
Charlie: I was like a deer caught in the headlights. Oh, I said, "headlights."
Kitty: Red, it was a very awkward situation. No one knew what to do.
Red: Well, I know what I would do if I saw you naked. I'd turn and run the other way. I mean, there is no reason on Earth for a 19-year-old boy to be staring at a woman your age. Look, damn it, he's the one in trouble here, not me.
Bob: [enters] Hey, Kitty, could I have some peanut oil? I'm gonna fry up some jumbo shrimp, which is a funny name. It's like calling someone a giant midget. I'd like to see one of those.
Red: Get this, Bob. Charlie here walked into our bedroom and saw Kitty naked.
Bob: [giggles] How was that?
Red: Well, how do you think it was? It was horrifying.
Kitty: Excuse me?
Charlie: Oh. So, Mr. Forman, how wrong was it for us to get into Vietnam, huh? [chuckles]