Glenn Quote #475
Quote from Glenn in Shadowing Glenn
Glenn: Come on, Donovan, like, we we know each other. We've worked together for years. [Donovan sighs] Like, I know that you tore your meniscus playing handball, remember? And you've got a bulldog named Velvet.
Delivery Guy: There's nothing I can do.
Glenn: I also know about the waitress.
Delivery Guy: The waitress?
Glenn: Yeah. On April 7th, you told me that your wife was going out of town for a month. But then on April 21st, you told me that you'd "pounded a waitress, until her eyes rolled back in her head." I didn't wanna hear about it at the time, but now I'm glad I did.
Delivery Guy: [exhales] I'll take them back.
Glenn: That is wonderful! See, I knew we could come to an understanding, Donovan. Thanks for stopping by.
Delivery Guy: Go [bleep] yourself, Glenn.
Amy: Again, I'm sorry about the typo. I didn't know it would get so dark.
Superstore Quotes
‘Shadowing Glenn’ Quotes
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: One time, I gave $100 bill in change when it was only supposed to be 35 cents.
Amy: Oh.
Glenn: And then another time, I forgot to put anybody on the schedule, and I had to work the whole day alone in the store.
Amy: Hmm.
Glenn: And then, uh, and then one time I ate everybody's lunch by accident. And, um... Oh, I accidentally ordered some adult toys 'cause I thought they were puzzles.
Quote from Dina
Justine: Maybe you could be a bike messenger.
Dina: Uh, like Joseph Gordon-Levitt in Premium Rush? I think I'll pass on being chased around by a corrupt cop because I'm unknowingly delivering $50,000 to a Chinese human trafficker, thanks.
Garrett: What are you trying to do, get her killed?
Dina: What about scuba cop? Is that a job?
Jonah: I don't think I see that listed here.
Dina: It's a pass anyway.
Jonah: Ah.
Dina: Too worried about the bends.
Quote from Dina
Dina: Hey, I've been thinking about what you said, about how I should be ashamed of my job.
Jonah: Oh, I didn't actually mean you should be ashamed-
Dina: No, no, no. You were right to ridicule me in front of everyone. It was harsh but a real wake-up call.
Jonah: Okay, again, I wasn't trying to ridicule you. I-
Dina: Truth is, I don't wanna do this for the rest of my life. But I don't wanna be a manager either, so what do I do?
Jonah: I mean, you could do whatever you want.
Dina: Oh, really? Could I be a giraffe?
Jonah: Well, within reality.
Dina: Yeah, exactly. How quickly we go from "you can be whatever you wanna be" to "within reality." Okay, drop what you're doing. We have to figure this out.
Jonah: We?
Dina: It is the least you can do after the way you humiliated me. You can't just shiv someone and then walk away. You need to help mop up the blood. Mop up my blood, Jonah.