Kelly Quote #57
Quote from Kelly in Toxic Workplace
Jonah: Hey, how's it going?
Kelly: Well, should I answer that as Jonah or Kelly? I don't do a really good Jonah. How is your Kelly?
Jonah: [as Kelly] Hey, everybody, I'm Kelly. [laughs] Um, you were right. I-I was a bad boyfriend. I'm sorry. But I hope that's not the reason you're leaving.
Kelly: It's- I don't know. It's just time for me to move on. Try something new. Like, um, like, what's it like to stock flatware at a different Cloud 9? I want to find out.
Jonah: I can't even imagine.
Kelly: It doesn't matter anyway. I can't get Glenn to sign the transfer. [as Glenn] Because we're a family, and I'm a man baby who won't let anyone leave! [normal voice] I can do impressions too.
Superstore Quotes
‘Toxic Workplace’ Quotes
Quote from Dina
Jonah: Oh, great, working next to Amy. I can't wait to be scowled at.
Dina: No! You do not talk to my best friend that way.
Amy: No, Dina-
Dina: Butt out, Amy. Listen to me, you rejected American Girl doll. You think you're so great? Your boyish good looks aren't gonna age well. You're hitting a wall, pretty boy, at a hundred miles an hour. Yeah, you can already see it. The crow's feet, receding hairline, hunchback. To think I used to masturbate to you.
Amy: Oh.
Dina: Multiple times a day.
Quote from Dina
Glenn: It must be my fault. It's like they say, the fish rots from the head.
Dina: What are you talking about?
Glenn: It's the expression. Fish rots from the head.
Dina: I've never heard of that. Why would it rot from the head first? It would all rot simultaneously.
Glenn: The point is, if things are toxic here, it's my job to fix it.
Dina: If anything, the guts would rot first, they're full of feces. Where are you getting this head thing? I mean, whoever told you that was not an ichthyologist.
Glenn: I don't care how a fish rots.
Dina: Well, I don't care for you spreading lies about fish.
Glenn: How is that a lie?
Quote from Janet
Cheyenne: For each day of the week, each route has three variations one primary and two alternates based on shifts and road closures. Now, if you're that week's ride captain, it's your responsibility to delegate and sub-delegate-
Janet: I'm sorry, I don't want to carpool.
Cheyenne: Well, why wouldn't you-
Janet: My drive is my only "me time". And I don't want to clean my car.