Sandra Quote #95

Quote from Sandra in Baby Shower

Sandra: What's your hand size?
Amy: Uh, w-why?
Sandra: Well, I've been getting into making fancy lady gloves lately. I think I have one I can show you.
Amy: Oh, uh-
Justine: For my gift, I don't think I can fit your entire name on a piece of rice, but I do think I can probably get an A on there.
Cheyenne: Or just give her three pieces of rice.
Amy: No, guys, all of this sounds like a lot of work for what is, again, a small, fast, quick, little, not-big-deal shower. So you guys can just grab something off the registry, anything doesn't even matter what. It's like, I think there's still a car seat on there.
Sandra: Here it is.
Amy: Oh.
Sandra: Just imagine your hand in it.

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 ‘Baby Shower’ Quotes

Quote from Mateo

Dina: This doesn't seem Christmas-y.
Mateo: So the idea there is post-apocalyptic Christmas. Like, what if the Grinch had succeeded in conquering Whoville and Cindy Lou Who grew up, got boobs, and was leading a resistance? Like, not that exactly, but in that area.
Dina: [scoffs] I don't want to be insulting, but are we sure that idea is not just pure gay nonsense?
Mateo: [clears throat] Dina, I am trying to give you something original, something that will make ugly Denise want to walk into the ocean. Can you please just trust me?
Dina: Honestly, that's gonna be tough. I've always had this weird thing about people with glasses. When I was younger, a nearsighted man bit me. You know what? It's a long story. I-I got hep A. I'm okay now, but... [sighs] All right, let's see what else you got.
Mateo: Okay, this next outfit answers the question, what if Cogsworth from Beauty and the Beast was a hot tween?

Quote from Mateo

Dina: And Kevin knew they were gonna rob Mr. Duncan's toy store, so he threw a rock through the window.
Mateo: I can't believe his mom forgot him again. Ugh. You know, some women just shouldn't be parents. There, I said it.

Quote from Mateo

Mateo: So then you just decided to go with this setup? Hmm. Okay.
Dina: What what's wrong with it? It's the tree, isn't it? The tree sucks, right? Sandra picked out the tree.
Sandra: It's October, so there weren't a lot of choices.
Dina: [chuckles mockingly]
Mateo: It's just feeling very 2003 Sears strip mall, if that makes any sense.
Dina: Uh, that makes perfect sense.
Mateo: I would just make it less bad, if that makes any sense.
Dina: Uh-huh.
Mateo: Like, what if Miracle on 34th Street took place on the first day of the L.A. riots?
Dina: Let's find out.