Mateo Quote #436
Dina: And Kevin knew they were gonna rob Mr. Duncan's toy store, so he threw a rock through the window.
Mateo: I can't believe his mom forgot him again. Ugh. You know, some women just shouldn't be parents. There, I said it.
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Dina: This doesn't seem Christmas-y.
Mateo: So the idea there is post-apocalyptic Christmas. Like, what if the Grinch had succeeded in conquering Whoville and Cindy Lou Who grew up, got boobs, and was leading a resistance? Like, not that exactly, but in that area.
Dina: [scoffs] I don't want to be insulting, but are we sure that idea is not just pure gay nonsense?
Mateo: [clears throat] Dina, I am trying to give you something original, something that will make ugly Denise want to walk into the ocean. Can you please just trust me?
Dina: Honestly, that's gonna be tough. I've always had this weird thing about people with glasses. When I was younger, a nearsighted man bit me. You know what? It's a long story. I-I got hep A. I'm okay now, but... [sighs] All right, let's see what else you got.
Mateo: Okay, this next outfit answers the question, what if Cogsworth from Beauty and the Beast was a hot tween?
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Mateo: So then you just decided to go with this setup? Hmm. Okay.
Dina: What what's wrong with it? It's the tree, isn't it? The tree sucks, right? Sandra picked out the tree.
Sandra: It's October, so there weren't a lot of choices.
Dina: [chuckles mockingly]
Mateo: It's just feeling very 2003 Sears strip mall, if that makes any sense.
Dina: Uh, that makes perfect sense.
Mateo: I would just make it less bad, if that makes any sense.
Mateo: Like, what if Miracle on 34th Street took place on the first day of the L.A. riots?
Dina: Let's find out.
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Photographer: Okay, everyone, let's try some big smiles on this one, all right? Big smiles, everyone. [camera shutter clicks] Dina, would you like to smile for this one?
Glenn: Dina, please.
Dina: Smiling would insinuate that I support what's happening right now, which I truly do not.
Glenn: Oh, so documenting the way our child is coming into this world is wrong?
Dina: We have to document it by dressing up as Alvin and the Chipmunks?
Jerusha: It's my favorite show, and Glenn is such a Theodore.
Glenn: Yeah, I'm not a star. I'm more supportive, and, of course, Jerusha is such a Simon.
Jerusha: Well, I wear contact lenses now.
Photographer: Hey, guys, I'm sorry. We have 15 minutes left in the session, so we're gonna need to... Okay, sorry, Dill.
Glenn: All right, look, Dina, just smile, and I'll give you 50 bucks.
Dina: Fine. But I want to be Theodore.
Glenn: Fine! I'll be stupid Alvin who can't follow rules and always gets everyone in trouble.
Photographer: Okay. Big smiles, everyone. [camera beeps, shutter clicks] Dina, you could show less teeth.
Dina: You get none or all of them, Dill. Pick a speed.