Garrett Quote #288
Quote from Garrett in Local Vendors Day
Garrett: Oh, busy day, huh?
Jess: Yeah, actually, I think I'm about to sell out.
Garrett: Whoa, wow. Well, hey, if you do, no worries, 'cause you got a whole row of beer right behind you.
Jess: Oh, thanks, but you guys don't sell beer like this.
Garrett: Oh, no, yeah. Probably not. [chuckles] Hey, you know what is interesting? I had a friend try one of your samples, and - this is crazy - totally independently, also said it tastes like Bud Light.
Jess: Well, it's not.
Garrett: Well, hey, look. I wouldn't judge you if it was. In fact, I'd respect you for charging $13 for $2 worth of Bud Light.
Jess: And I'd appreciate that respect if that's what I were doing.
Garrett: Okay, well...
Jess: Okay, well.
Garrett: Life is a highway.
Jess: What?
Garrett: I got to get back to work.
Superstore Quotes
‘Local Vendors Day’ Quotes
Quote from Garrett
Garrett: $8 for a bar of soap just 'cause it's shaped weird and wrapped in twine?
Jonah: Well, it's artisanal. It's organic.
Garrett: [sniffs] [scoffs] Ugh. I don't need my soap to be organic. We have science now. Science has created chemicals that keep us clean.
Quote from Marcus
Mateo: Wow. Can't believe you came on your day off to sell cheese you made out of breast milk.
Marcus: Yeah, well, it's been a lot of trial and error. You know, if you don't get the consistency just right, you get boob yogurt, and that's just gross. And then there's the scavenging. Oh, and then my lizard ate a bunch of my samples.
Mateo: Wait, wait, wait. Let's go back to scavenging.
Marcus: Well, I mainly work with found milk.
Mateo: Found milk?
Marcus: Mm-hmm. You know, a mom leaves a bottle on a table at a food court and, you figure she's okay with people taking a little off the top.
Mateo: [chuckles] [gags]
Quote from Dina
Cheyenne: Wow, I bet dating has changed so much since your time. How did you guys even send each other naked photos of yourselves?
Amy: Uh, just in the mail.
Cheyenne: Oh, my God. So much effort.
Dina: I sent a nude fax once.
Amy: Full face?
Dina: Full face. I mean, an artist signs her work.