Glenn Quote #324
Quote from Glenn in Viral Video
Glenn: I don't understand this. I sent out a mass email to all our rewards customers, you know, to apologize for... the attack on the cups, and look!
Garrett: "Dear, valued customer, when humans eat food, it's processed in the intestines, producing gas." Wow, you really took it from the top.
Glenn: Yeah, of course. But then look. A huge number of these things bounced back, and that makes me worried that it's either Russian hackers...
Garrett: Could be them. That's their style.
Glenn: Or I picked up a virus looking at those baptism videos, maybe.
Garrett: That's where they are.
Glenn: Or... An employee's inventing fake customers.
Superstore Quotes
‘Viral Video’ Quotes
Quote from Dina
Dina: Cheyenne? I need your help accessing people's social media before we have another scandal. I feel like that lady from Scandal. Is her name Scandal?
Cheyenne: Um, can't you just do it yourself?
Dina: Don't do social media. Never have. Never will. Don't want anyone tracking me. I only use the Internet for two things: buying birdseed, watching porn. Besides, it'll be fun. Couple of gals clickin' and a-clackin' around the net.
Cheyenne: Are you asking me, or telling me I have to?
Dina: I'm telling you you have to, but in a way that makes it sound like I'm asking you.
Quote from Mateo
Mateo: I sign up a lot of... rewards customers. I mean, I... can't remember every single one.
Glenn: It's just that I noticed they seem to have really unusual names. Ned Duracell. Jim Toblerone. And just this morning, you signed up a Martin Nestle.
Mateo: Oh, Martin! Uh, yeah. I... I remember him. Uh, good guy. Nice family.
Glenn: Mateo, can you think of any reason why Martin's email bounced back?
Mateo: He gave me a fake email?
Glenn: That's one reason. Um... But another one is... a-and I'm not accusing you of this, but maybe... You made him up?
Mateo: What? Glenn! Wow!
Quote from Mateo
Mateo: Oh, hey, Glenn! It was really bugging me that Martin Nestle lied about his email address, so I did some digging and I found his actual email on his company website.
Glenn: Boogie-Time Boogie Boards, Incorporated. That doesn't look like a very professional website, does it?
Mateo: I know, right? These beach bum types. [clears throat] Anyway... There he is. Martin Nestle, CEO.
Glenn: Huh. That looks like the guy from Twilight.
Mateo: You saw Twilight?
Glenn: No. Jerusha said I shouldn't. So I didn't.
Mateo: I mean... I guess it kinda looks like him if you squint. It's so funny you know who that is.
Garrett: Hey, let's see if they have a page for buying a boogie board on there, huh?
Mateo: I don't think that the link is up yet.
Garrett: Click on the "About," where it tells you the story of how the company started.