Glenn Quote #659
Glenn: Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. Oh, they are gonna fire me.
Dina: [sighs] In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have helped steal that minifridge. Or the washer/dryer combo. The second minifridge.
Glenn: Oh, God, I could go to jail for this! And then my cellmate is gonna ask to borrow my comb, and I won't be able to say no.
Dina: Take a breath, man. You're not getting fired. Okay? I'll amortize the shrink over the next year and borrow overstock from the Quincy branch. The manager and I follow the same Korean softball league.
Glenn: Wow, okay. What if the ruffians come back?
Dina: Not to worry, I've been texting with Titus, and he's handling it on the street. That kid would literally do anything for me.
Glenn: You are really saving my rump.
Dina: Well, you still got a few usable brain cells rattling around.
Glenn: [chuckles] You know this job is a lot. And I'm still trying to keep my stress level down. Do you think maybe we could, you know, talk corporate into some sort of co manager arrangement? I mean, if you'd be open to it. Sort of a "two heads are better than one" thing?
Dina: Animals born with two heads usually die almost immediately, but sure. I'm honored you asked me.
Glenn: I'm honored you'd accept.
Superstore Quotes
‘Biscuit’ Quotes
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: It is so nice to be out of quarantine and back running this store. God, I so missed talking to real people. You know, sometimes I pretended that the Nativity figurines in my garage were you guys. [to Jonah] You were the baby Jesus.
Jonah: That's... great. Thank you.
Quote from Cheyenne
Glenn: We've got a really exciting COVID announcement.
Cheyenne: Oh, my God, is it over? I don't know about you guys, but COVID has been, like, super annoying for me.
Jonah: Huh, yeah, now that you mention it, I'd have to give it a thumbs down.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: Dina? I just found this in the store. We need to deal with that immediately.
Dina: "This is a threat. The store is in grave danger."
Glenn: Grave danger! That's, like, the worst kind of danger. You know, we need to beef up security, get this place on lockdown till we figure out what is going on. Well, I mean, you do, 'cause you're head of security.
Dina: I don't know about this. I mean, it's a pretty short message, and there aren't even any demands.
Glenn: Huh. Maybe they were in a rush. More to factor in to your investigation.
Dina: Cut out letters from a magazine? What is this, Scooby-Doo? Nah, I think someone's just screwing with us. Probably a kid or, you know, an adult with a recent traumatic brain injury. [laughs] Some dumb-ass spent a half an hour on that thing.
Glenn: [sighs] You didn't have to crumple it.