Glenn Quote #655

Quote from Glenn in Biscuit

Glenn: It is so nice to be out of quarantine and back running this store. God, I so missed talking to real people. You know, sometimes I pretended that the Nativity figurines in my garage were you guys. [to Jonah] You were the baby Jesus.
Jonah: That's... great. Thank you.

Rate

 ‘Biscuit’ Quotes

Quote from Cheyenne

Glenn: We've got a really exciting COVID announcement.
Cheyenne: Oh, my God, is it over? I don't know about you guys, but COVID has been, like, super annoying for me.
Jonah: Huh, yeah, now that you mention it, I'd have to give it a thumbs down.

Quote from Glenn

Glenn: Dina? I just found this in the store. We need to deal with that immediately.
Dina: "This is a threat. The store is in grave danger."
Glenn: Grave danger! That's, like, the worst kind of danger. You know, we need to beef up security, get this place on lockdown till we figure out what is going on. Well, I mean, you do, 'cause you're head of security.
Dina: I don't know about this. I mean, it's a pretty short message, and there aren't even any demands.
Glenn: Huh. Maybe they were in a rush. More to factor in to your investigation.
Dina: Cut out letters from a magazine? What is this, Scooby-Doo? Nah, I think someone's just screwing with us. Probably a kid or, you know, an adult with a recent traumatic brain injury. [laughs] Some dumb-ass spent a half an hour on that thing.
Glenn: [sighs] You didn't have to crumple it.

 Glenn Sturgis Quotes

Quote from All Sales Final

Jonah: So... retirement, huh? Got any big plans?
Glenn: Yeah, I think I might finally watch The Queen's Gambit.
Jonah: Okay, so that's... seven episodes. What else?
Glenn: Well, I hadn't really thought much beyond that. Gosh, I guess there's gonna be a lot of hours to fill, huh?
Jonah: Yeah, yeah, but that's a good thing, right, Glenn? I mean, I'm sure you've got hobbies.
Glenn: No, 'cause work is all I've ever known, Jonah. I mean, I started at my dad's hardware store when I was eight, and before that, I worked at the tollbooth.
Jonah: Glenn, I'm sure you're gonna be fine. I- There's gotta be something that you can do.
Glenn: Well, what if I got a 500 piece puzzle? That'd take up some time, right?
Jonah: Some.
Glenn: What, you want me to get a 1,000 piece puzzle? How much table space do you think I have, Jonah?

Quote from Conspiracy

Glenn: I'm sorry. Just... I started doing some research, and I came across this article, "The Truth About Zephra." I think there's some fishy business going on.
Dina: Oh, like tax evasion, offshore banking? What are we talking here?
Glenn: You know how everyone's pushing this 5G? Well, turns out 5 is the worst of the Gs. They say that it hits your brain at a certain frequency that lets them control human behavior.
Dina: You think Zephra's involved in mind control? Okay, that's enough screen time for you.
Glenn: No, it's not that I believe in mind control, but they are trying to control how we greet customers.
Dina: Glenn, enough. This is why old people shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.