Jonah Quote #404
Quote from Jonah in #Cloud9Fail
Amy: I've been asking corporate for weeks to give me more hours, and nothing! And then one embarrassing photo comes out, and they're like, "Here you go!"
Jonah: See? I told you. They just needed to see that things would fall apart if they didn't step in.
Amy: You were totally right. It was my need to be perfect that was screwing everything up.
Jonah: You know, it's crazy how many of your problems stem from your own excellence...
Amy: I know. We should start encouraging customers to keep tweeting bad things about us.
Jonah: Yeah, w-why stop there? I mean, we should just create a bunch of fake Twitter accounts and tweet it ourselves.
Amy: Ha ha. We should totally do that.
Jonah: We totally should.
Amy: No, we should actually do that.
Jonah: Yeah, I-I thought I was communicating that with my eyes, but, yeah, yeah, same page.
Superstore Quotes
‘#Cloud9Fail’ Quotes
Quote from Dina
Dina: Hey, so, random I was going through some old security footage with Luanne.
Garrett: Yeah?
Dina: And you remember how we used to have those security cameras in the break room? Well, we came across the time you let all my birds escape.
Garrett: Uh... yeah. Um...
Dina: [chuckles] Remember that? Remember? It was Valentine's Day. Remember? I was blaming myself for it, and then when I was at my lowest, you had sex with me, knowing that, hours before, you were the one that let them out. And you knew the entire time. And yet, you said nothing. Remember that? [laughs] So funny.
Garrett: Dina, I'm so, so sorry.
Dina: Hey, come on. Don't even worry about it. I forgive you. When you think about it, this whole thing is just funny. Hey, come with me. I want to show you something.
[cut to Dina and Garrett at the loading dock in front of a burning pile of sneakers:]
Dina: They went up so fast, it's like they wanted to burn. [chuckles] What's that sound? Is that air escaping from the sneakers? [chuckles] It almost sounds like they're screaming. [chuckles] [whispers menacingly] I will never forgive you... ever.
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: If you're looking for an electric toothbrush, I'd suggest the Dentafix 100.
Man: It looks used.
Cheyenne: What? Who would sell a used toothbrush? We wouldn't sell that.
Mateo: This is the newest trend in oral hygiene. You want a brush that's pre-distressed, like a nice pair of jeans.
Cheyenne: A friend of mine got one of the old models with the straight, white bristles. Tore her gums to shreds. She had to get new ones from a dead body.
Quote from Jonah
Dina: "Just a normal day in America, #Cloud9Fail." Unbelievable.
Amy: What's going on here?
Dina: Uh, more people are posting photos of the store.
Jonah: You're kidding me.
Amy: This store?
Glenn: "Cloud 9 is looking a little bit cattywampus"? What does "cattywampus" mean?
Jonah: Uh, cattywampus is, I believe, regional slang for, uh, like, "all messed up." You know, I think the they use it in Arkansas. Oh, yep, there you go right there petiteroche22, that that just that means "Little Rock" in French.
Justine: Whoa.