Elaine: I just.. have to ask that doctor one more question. [exits]
Jerry: Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.

George: Holistic, that sounds right.
Jerry: George, you need a medical doctor.
George: Let me ask you something.. How much do you think it would cost to have tonsils and adenoids removed in the hospital?
Jerry: Well, an overnight stay in a hospital? Minor surgery? I dunno, four grand.
George: Uh-huh. And how much does the healer charge?
Kramer: First visit? Thirty-eight bucks.
George: Oh, yeah? Holistic, that's what I need. That's the answer.

Tor: What month were you born?
George: April.
Tor: You should have been born in August. Your parents would have been well-advised to wait.
George: Really?
Tor: Do you use hot water in the shower?
George: Yes.
Tor: Stop using it.
George: Okay.
Kramer: I'm off hot water.

Tor: Kramer tells me that you are interested in an alternative to surgery.
George: Yes, yes I am.
Tor: [blows in George's face] I think we can help you. See, unfortunately, the medical establishment is a business like any other business. And business needs customers. And, they want to sell you their most expensive item which is unnecessary surgery.
George: Can I use hot water on my face?
Tor: No. You know, I am not a business man. I'm a holistic healer. It's a calling, it's a gift. You see, it's in the best interest of the medical profession that you remain sick. You see, that insures good business. You're not a patient. You're a customer.
Jerry: [inner monologue] And you're not a doctor, but you play one in real life.
George: What about shaving?
Tor: [to Jerry] You're eating too much dairy.

Tor: May I? [rubs his hands together]
George: I guess so.
Tor: [rubs his hands over George's face] You see, you are in disharmony. The throat is the gateway to the lung. Tonsillitis, adenoiditis, is, in Chinese medical terms, and invasion of heat and wind.
Jerry: [inner monologue] There's some hot air blowing in here..
Tor: You know, I lived with the Eskimos many years ago, and they used to plunge their faces into the snow.
George: Could it be lukewarm?
Jerry: Too much dairy? You really think I'm eating too much dairy?

Doctor: The tongue. Yes, the tongue... Or, in medical terms, the glossa. It's a muscular organ. Consists of two parts: the body, and the root. You see, it's covered by this mucous membrane. These little raised projections are the papillae. That's what give it its furry appearance. Very tactile.
Elaine: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Tor: Your tea is ready now. This will solve your so-called tonsil problem. It's a special concoction. It contains cramp bark.
Jerry: I love cramp bark.
Tor: Cleavers.
Jerry: Cleaver, I once had cleaver as a kid. I was able to lift a car.
Tor: And some couch grass.
Jerry: Couch grass and cramp bark? You know, I think that's what killed Curly.

Jerry: Excuse me, Tor. May I ask you a question? You have intuitive abilities. You're in touch with a lot of this cosmic kind of things. I have this note I can't read. I was wondering if-
Tor: [takes the note, laughs] Oh, yes. Yes. "Cleveland 117, San Antonio 109." [hands note back]

George: I'm an eggplant! I'm an eggplant! I'm a minstrel man!

Jerry: How you doing? [George nods] Can't talk? [George shakes his head] Hey, how'd you get the plastic one? [George raises his eyebrows] I like that. [George sticks his tongue out] So how's life without tonsils? [George mimes a spoon going into his mouth] What? What's that? So, how much is this thing gonna cost you now? Like, five, six thousand? [George signals that it's more] Well, live and learn. At least we lived. Kramer went to Eckman. He feels better already. [George motions for ice cream again] What are you doing?