Jerry: I feel terrible. I mean, I've seen her a couple of times since then, and I know I can't go any further, but.. I've just got this like, psychosexual hold over me. I just want her, I can't breathe. It's like a drug.
Kramer: Whoa, psychosexual.
Jerry: I don't know how I'm going to tell him.
Kramer: Man, I don't understand people. I mean, why would George want to deprive you of pleasure? Is it just me?
Jerry: It's partially you, yeah.
Kramer: You're his friend. Better that she should sleep with someone else. Some jerk that he doesn't even know.
Jerry: Well, he can't kill me, right?
Kramer: You're a human being.
Jerry: I mean, she called me. I haven't called her. She started it.
Kramer: You're flesh and blood.
Jerry: I'm a nice guy.

Jerry: Oh, my little airplane lamp.
Elaine: You know, you have the slowest elevator in the entire city. That's hard to get used to when you're in so many other fast ones.
Jerry: Well, the apartment elevators are always slower than the offices, because you don't have to be home on time.
Elaine: Unless you're married to a dictator.
Jerry: Yeah, because they would be very demanding people.

Elaine: I spotted him getting his mail. And at first, I was just going to walk on by, but then I thought "No, no, no, no. Do not be afraid of this man."
Jerry: Right.
Elaine: So, I walked up behind him and I tapped him on the shoulder. And I said, "Hi, remember me?" And he furrows his brow as if he's really trying to figure it out. So I said to him, I said, "You little phony. You know exactly who I am."
Jerry: "You little phony"?
Elaine: I did. I most certainly did. And he said, he goes, "Oh, yeah. You're Jeanette's friend. We did meet once." And I said, "Well, how do you go from that to totally ignoring a person when they walk by?"
Jerry: Amazing.
Elaine: And he says, he says, "Look, I just didn't want to say hello anymore, all right?" And I said, "Fine. Fine I didn't want to say hello anymore either, but I wanted you to know that I'm aware of it." [eats cantaloupe]
Jerry: You are the Queen of Confrontation. You're my new hero. In fact, you've inspired me. I'm gonna call George about something right now.
Elaine: This cantaloupe stinks. [spits it out]

Jerry: All right. As long as you're okay. Because I can't stop thinking about her.
George: I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm wonderful. I never felt better in my whole life.
Jerry: Good. And I'll tell you what, you don't have to pay me back the thirty-five I gave to the chiropractor for the rest of your bill.
George: You paid that crook?!
Jerry: I had to.
George: He didn't do anything, Jerry. It's a scam! Who told you to do that?
Jerry: It was embarrassing to me.
George: Oh, I was trying to make a point.
Jerry: Why don't you make a point with your own doctor? [George gulps] What's wrong?
George: [gasping] I think I swallowed a fly! I swallowed a fly! What do I do? What can happen?

Marlene: You sure you want to talk about this? 'cause I sure don't.
Jerry: Of course I want to talk about it.
Marlene: Well, okay. I guess things changed for me on Tuesday night.
Jerry: Tuesday night? What happened Tuesday night?
Marlene: I saw your act.
Jerry: My act? What does that have to do with anything?
Marlene: Well, to be honest, it just didn't make it for me. It's just so much fluff.
Jerry: I can't believe this. So what are you saying? You didn't like my act, so that's it?
Marlene: I can't be with someone if I don't respect what they do.
Jerry: You're a cashier!
Marlene: Look, Jerry, it's just not my kind of humor.
Jerry: You can't go by the audience that night. It was late. They were terrible.
Marlene: I heard the material.
Jerry: I have other stuff. You should come see me on the weekend.

George: My back is killing me.
Jerry: You gotta go to my chiropractor, he's the best.
George: Oh yeah, everybody's guy is the best.
Jerry: I'm gonna make an appointment for you. We'll go together.
George: Please. They don't do anything.