Kramer: My service rates went up? You banks are all the same with your hidden fees and your service charges. Well, maybe I'll just take my blood elsewhere, yeah.
Employee: Well, we can transfer to another bank for you.
Kramer: Oh, no, no, no. No more banks. I'm keeping my blood in my freezer with my money!

George: Three pints of Kramer's blood?
Jerry: I can feel his blood inside of me. Borrowing things from my blood.
George: Well, so much for purification week.

Jerry: So, how's the fornicating gourmet?
George: Doing quite well, thank you. Yesterday I had a soft boiled egg and a quickie. You know what? If I could add TV to the equation, that would really be the ultimate.
Jerry: George, we're trying to have a civilization here.

Jerry: Did you give blood?
Kramer: No, not giving. hoarding. I'm storing it at the blood bank. Just in case.
Jerry: In case of what?
Kramer: Jerry, I know myself. If I'm out on the street and it's starts to go down, I don't back off until it's finished.
Jerry: Are we finished?
Kramer: Done.

George: So, uh, what do you say?
Tara: I guess we could use some food in our lovemaking.
George: Okay, we got your... Got your strawberries. Your chocolate sauce. Your pastrami on rye with mustard. Your honey...
Tara: Wait, wait, wait. Pastrami on rye with mustard?
George: Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't you remember they used pastrami in that movie ​9 1⁄2 Weeks? Remember the pastrami scene?
Tara: No.
George: Well, maybe it was Ghostbuster. Whatever it was, it worked!

Jerry: So, the free love buffet is over?
George: I got greedy. Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami.
Jerry: Yeah, that's what you did.

Vivian: Oh, isn't Elaine fantastic?
George: Yes, she is. It's a pity we won't be seeing much more of her.
Vivian: Really, why?
George: Oh, you haven't heard? No, she's going to live with her grandparents in Reading, Pennsylvania.
Vivian: Her grandparents passed away five years ago.
George: Yes, they did. I was covering. Elaine has been deported back to Scotland.
Vivian: She's an American citizen. I have seen her passport.
George: All right, no more lies. Elaine has been chosen to represent the Upper West Side in the next Biosphere project.
Vivian: I haven't heard anything about another Biosphere.
George: That's because it's underwater.
Vivian: This is insane.
George: Is it?
Vivian: Yes, it it.
George: Well, it's all for charity, so what's the difference?

Jerry: Are you sure you can't stay longer?
Morty Seinfeld: No, we just came up for the funeral.
Helen Seinfeld: Poor Marvin Kessler. He went too early.
Jerry: He was ninety-six years old.
Morty Seinfeld: That had nothing to do with it, the man was out of shape.
Helen Seinfeld: That's why we joined a program. We walk once around the block three times a week.
Morty Seinfeld: And every morning I eat a plum.
Jerry: Well, what ever you do, you're wearing me out.

Jerry: What happened? I thought you were with Tara tonight?
George: I was. I had to leave. She lit this vanilla incense. The smell drove me nuts. All I could think about was food. I had to get out of there. We're gonna need some pudding here! Pudding!
Elaine: You just left? What did you tell her?
George: I told her I had a bus transfer that was only good just for another hour.
Jerry: What?
George: I don't know. I was starving Jerry!

Jerry: Didn't go for it, huh?
George: No.
Jerry: So, she didn't appreciate the erotic qualities of the salted-cured meats?
George: She tolerated the strawberries and the chocolate sauce... But, uh, it's not a meal, you know? Food and sex, those are my two passions. It's only natural to combine them.
Jerry: Natural? Sex is about love between a man and a woman, not a man and a sandwich.
George: Jerry, I'm not suggesting getting rid of the girl. She's integral.
Jerry: Maybe instead of trying to satisfy two of your needs, how about satisfying one of somebody else's?