Elaine Quote #743

Quote from Elaine in The Andrea Doria

Elaine: [inner monologue] Where is this guy?! I hate this! I should have brought something to read... [reads sugar packet] "Cancer in laboratory animals". Huh.
Waiter: Excuse me, Elaine Benes?
Elaine: Yeah?
Waiter: An Alan Mercer called for you. He said he's sorry, but he won't be able to make it tonight. He's been stabbed.
Elaine: Stabbed?!
Waiter: More bread?

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 ‘The Andrea Doria’ Quotes

Quote from Elaine

George: The tenant association made me give it to this guy because he was an Andrea Doria survivor.
Elaine: Andrea Doria? Isn't that the one they did the song about?
Jerry: Edmund Fitzgerald.
Elaine: I love Edmund Fitzgerald's voice.
Jerry: No, Gordon Lightfoot was the singer. Edmund Fitzgerald was the ship.
George: You could fit 15 people in that bathroom..
Elaine: I think Gordon Lightfoot was the boat.
Jerry: Yeah, and it was rammed by the Cat Stevens.

Quote from George

George: I was handcuffed to the bed in my underwear, where I remained... [cut] She certainly seemed interested in me. Though she was attractive, she was also, in fact, a Nazi... [cut] The water that I had been swimming in was very cold. And, when I dropped the towel, there had been significant shrinkage... [cut] Her parents were looking at me. So, there I was, with a marble rye hanging from the end of a fishing pole... [cut] In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man. Thank you. [gets up] Oh, also, my fiance died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out. [The board members sob and cry] Thanks again. [walks out]

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: [coughs repeatedly]
Jerry: What is with that?!
Kramer: Well, it's coughing, Jerry. It expells the diseased germs out of the body into the air.