George: I was handcuffed to the bed in my underwear, where I remained... [cut] She certainly seemed interested in me. Though she was attractive, she was also, in fact, a Nazi... [cut] The water that I had been swimming in was very cold. And, when I dropped the towel, there had been significant shrinkage... [cut] Her parents were looking at me. So, there I was, with a marble rye hanging from the end of a fishing pole... [cut] In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man. Thank you. [gets up] Oh, also, my fiance died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out. [The board members sob and cry] Thanks again. [walks out]

Kramer: No expiration date on this. [opens it and starts coughing on the food]
Jerry: There is now. Kramer, you should really get that cough checked out by a doctor.
Kramer: Nah, nah, nah. No doctors for me. A bunch of lackeys and yes-men all towing the company line. Plus, they botched my vasectomy.
Jerry: They botched it?
Kramer: I'm even more potent now!

Kramer: [coughs repeatedly]
Jerry: What is with that?!
Kramer: Well, it's coughing, Jerry. It expells the diseased germs out of the body into the air.