Jerry Quote #1517
Quote from Jerry in The Abstinence
Jerry: [on the phone] Cancelled? But I was supposed to be on tomorrow night.
David Letterman: Yeah, but then, you know, some people were telling me about that little flap out there at the junior high school assembly. And before that, you were bumped by a lizard?
Jerry: Actually, it was a monitor lizard.
David Letterman: Those things, deadly dangerous. A long time ago my uncle and a date are driving, like, through Mexico. They see one on the road, drags him out of the road, and chews his face off. Listen, we'll call you if anything opens up. Okay, Jimmy?
Jerry: Jerry.
David Letterman: Right. Jerry.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Abstinence’ Quotes
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: How come he's getting so smart? I stopped having sex with Ben three days ago and I don't know no Portuguese.
Jerry: Are you all right?
Elaine: I don't know. It's just the last couple of days my mind has been kind of, you know... not good.
Jerry: Wait a second, I know what's happening. The no sex thing is having a reverse effect on you.
Elaine: What? What are you talking about?
Jerry: To a woman, sex is like the garbage man. You just take for granted the fact that any time you put some trash out on the street, a guy in a jumpsuit's gonna come along and pick it up. But now, no sex, it's like a garbage strike. The bags are piling up in your head. The sidewalk is blocked. Nothing's getting through. You're stupid!
Elaine: I don't understand.
Jerry: Exactly.
Quote from Jackie Chiles
Jackie Chiles: [on the phone] Oh, my vacation was restful, splendid, magnificent. In fact, next time I'm planning on going to Corfu.
Quote from Jackie Chiles
Jackie Chiles: Did that cigarette warning label mention anything about damage to your appearance?
Kramer: No, it didn't say anything.
Jackie Chiles: So you're a victim. Now your face is sallow, unattractive, disgusting.
Kramer: So Jackie, do you think we gotta case?
Jackie Chiles: Your face is my case.